Things you would not have known without the movies

[Newt]

THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES

 

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any day & time of the year.

 

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

 

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

 

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

 

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

 

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

 

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

 

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

 

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beasts , the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

 

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

 

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

 

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

 

The Chief of Police is always black.

 

Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.

 

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

 

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

 

Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

 

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

 

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

 

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.

 

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

 

Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.

 

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

 

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

 

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

 

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

 

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

 

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

 

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

 

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecescessors.

[spasor]

Newt.

You forgot the most important one for us fisherfolk.

No matter how deep you dive. As long as you keep expelling air bubbles. A hand will suddenly appear to drag you to safety!! Even if its in a downwards direction!!

[Gaffer]

Running on beaches always happens in slow motion.

 

Even though a car can jump 30ft in the air and land on it's sump it'll still continue without any rpoblems.

 

Bullets always richochet(sp?) in cowboy films even when hitting flesh.

 

People never go to the loo.

 

You can't be a mechanic unless you have grease on your face, likewise with paint and painting.

 

Diesel always explodes.

 

'It's gonna blow'...how do they know when to run and dive?

 

It's always the blue wire.

 

The only telephone number is 555......

 

Snipers never have to take wind direction into consideration when firing.

 

Hotwired cars always have enough petrol in them for a 2 hour chase.

 

Police don't use 'stingers'.

 

[ 16. November 2002, 11:59 AM: Message edited by: Gaffer ]

[davidP]

Tyres squeal, even on gravel or grass.

 

Anybody accessing a password-protected computer can immediately access every piece of data within seconds, which is far better than the people who work it day in day out

[Peter Sharpe]

Americans featured prominently in every single action in World War II, and also cracked the Enigma code.

Coca-Cola is a health drink found in everybody's refrigerator.

People always sleep lying on their backs.

Julia Roberts is supposed to be attractive.

It is possible to drive for more than ten seconds along a busy road with your head turned sideways, talking to the the person next to you.

 

[ 16. November 2002, 07:57 PM: Message edited by: Peter Sharpe ]

[OregonDave]

Peter - Hollwood and the British film industry settled this long ago. Americans got the exclusive to play war heros, the Brits got the exclusive for vampires, mummies and cannibals. What could be fairer than that?

DaveK

[chesters1]

in a car chase no matter how fast your going you always have another gear .

 

bullets can richochet of car body work and windows

 

people can move faster than a laser beam thus dodging them.

 

a machine gunner always starts shooting from behind a fleeing person.

 

all people can shoot a rider of a horse without harm to the steed.

 

six shooters were acurate at 100yds

 

indians always circle anticlockwise ,never at night and if the chief gets killed they all go home

 

computers always have writing never crash and beep on every keypress

 

young boy children can use a laptop connected to a card with a miriad of wires to break into any known security device.

 

a yale lock can be picked by anyone in 2 seconds

 

all aliens languages can be turned into english by a translator so good that the aliens mouth movements are also in english.

 

bullets never smash the bone on contact with an arm enabling the wounded good guy to wear a sling at the end of the scene

 

people stand within 6 feet of their door so they can answer it within 5 secs ,this also applies to the phone

 

all scrapyards contain cars with perfectly working engines ,they also contain boats ,sails , rope , brand new box section in several lenghts ,landrovers in variose engine sizes and perfect body work,proof?????? watch scrapyard challenge

 

[ 17. November 2002, 05:39 PM: Message edited by: chesters1 ]

[Wordbender]

Two people can fight, flat-out for 10 minutes, without a break - and not even be breathing heavily afterwards.

 

Cowboys' horses never poo.

 

Terry (Specialising in the more spiritual observations, as ever)

[Peter Sharpe]

"What can be fairer than that" OregonDave?

That really won't do. We still haven't forgiven you for Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins.

[OregonDave]

Peter - I've been racking my brains trying to come up with a suitable rejoinder to your Dick Van Dyke comment. Best I could come up with is, "Oh yah?" and beat a hasty retreat.