Breast care

[nursejudy]

Often when faced with visiting someone who has cancer or has just been diagnosed,people really do not know what to say for the best. :confused:

So they often cut the person out,instead of visiting and being their usual self,which i guess is all anyone would want.

just because someone has the dreaded cancer it does not mean that they have lost their sense of humour,and yes its ok,to crack a joke.often when faced with adversity the old adage rings true"laughter can be the best medicine"

well some of the time.

It never gets any easier nursing people or their families,when we visit for the first time,as i have to do tommorrow -- not knowing this patient.All you can do is be guided by how the patient talks to you and take it from there.

 

 

So be brave visit your friends or relatives do your bit to help them,keep things a snormal as possible,REMEMBER you cannot catch Cancer.

Judith

 

PS whose a brave soldier then Paul

 

[ 29. July 2003, 09:34 PM: Message edited by: nursejudy ]

[*Ant*]

A friend died of luckiemia(sp?) when he was in his teens, it was the third time he had had it. I went with him the once for his bi-annual check-up at the Birmingham childrens hospital, he hated going as he thought it was a waste of time, he had been clear for a good few years. Things were going really well for him at the time as he had just got ingaged to a beautiful girl and had got a job working for Peugeot with his dad. He had only been working there for a while when one day he broke his wrist, sadly this led to him getting luckiemia again. I was beside myself when he told me that the doctors were unable to help him and he didn't have long left. Is was only a matter of weeks before he died after being able to spend his remaining time at home. Anyway, the purpose of this post is to say that after he had told me he was going to die I never had the courage to go and see him. I really wanted to but was just to scared of how I would react infront of him and his family, I only got to say goodbye at his funeral, the first one I ever went to. It's been 16yrs now and it still haunts me to this day that I didn't go and see him, I only hope he understood why and forgives me.

 

Sorry Phil, you were a great person and true friend. Only the good die young, rest in peace.

 

Ant

[Guest NickInTheNorth]

Ant

 

Don't beat yourself up about it, you have given a normal human reaction to death (or its possibility). Remember your friend and all you did for him.

[Elton]

Ditto what Nick said, Ant. Read the posts above and you'll see that it was a totally human reaction.

 

There is no 'right' way of dealing with these things. We all do it in our own ways and that's what makes the world go round.

 

Don't regret what you didn't do - rejoice in the things you did before, instead.

 

All the best,

 

Elton

[*Ant*]

Cheers guys,

 

I was just trying to express how difficult these things can be sometimes. I'm sure there are many folk in the same situation as I found myself in many years ago.

What really wrenches the heart is the thought of him lying in his bed wondering why I didn't go to see him. It is something that I will live with untill my time comes and this thread has just showed me how it can still hurt after all this time.

Hopefully my reply to this thread will help others with their decisions should they find themselves in a similar position.

[chesters1]

my sister had a breast removed and then a hysterectomy ( hopefully to stop a recurrence) at the age of 42 .on a visit to town with my mrs there was a mobile breast screening clinic completly empty but for the staff ,i told my mrs to pop in there so in she went (remember there was no people waiting) she was rejected as she`s not yet 50 :mad: on telling the staff cancer doesnt magically start at a certain age she still was refused :mad: obviasly the staff didnt have sisters

[nursejudy]

Ant

do not put your self down,I am sure your friend understood,and you should look back to happier times the memories you have.We only get one go at our life and we all do the best we can without a rule book.

 

Chesters the NHS stinks at times

judy

 

[ 30. July 2003, 10:22 PM: Message edited by: nursejudy ]

[Chris Plumb]

Judy - thanks for posting this - just catching up after being away. A thought - fella's check your balls (you could ask you partner to reciprocate while you check 'up top' ). I believe testicular cancer is pretty curable if caught quickly enough - however it did for my Dad when he was just 28. To had to the misery for my poor mum my step-father died a couple of months back from lung cancer (he was a non-smoker too )

 

 

Chris

[nursejudy]

Hi Chris

I did suggest further back in the thread that as you all had had fun examining our boobs,that we should be sorting your dangley bits out.

cheers judy