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barry luxton

By barry luxton
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barry luxton Member

barry luxton

Posted
Posted

 

Didn't know what was best for the name of this topic, I considered putting it in the joke's forum but decided against that one:

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00, I said "May I have large bills, please".

 

She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."

When I got up off the floor I explained it to her.

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

 

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

 

He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'

 

We haven't used Sears repair since.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.'

 

She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.

 

I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'

 

The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

 

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

 

From Kingman, KS

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

 

He said, 'he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.'

 

From Kansas City

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

 

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

 

Happened in Birmingham, AL

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

 

She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'

 

Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

 

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

 

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING

How would you pronounce this child's name?

"Le-a"

Leah?? NO

Lee - A?? NOPE

Lay - a?? NO

Lei?? Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Kansas City , Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha".

 

 

When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."

 

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

 

 

ha ha ha ha.

Free to choose apart from the ones where the trust poked their nose in. Common eel. tope. Bass and sea bream. All restricted.


New for 2016 TAT are the main instigators for the demise of the u k bass charter boat industry, where they went screaming off to parliament and for the first time assisting so called angling gurus set up bass take bans with the e u using rubbish exaggerated info collected by ices from anglers, they must be very proud.

Upgrade, the door has been closed with regards to anglers being linked to the e u superstate and the failed c f p. So TAT will no longer need to pay monies to the EAA anymore as that org is no longer relevant to the u k . Goodbye to the europeon anglers alliance and pathetic restrictions from the e u.

Angling is better than politics, ban politics from angling.

Consumer of bass. where is the evidence that the u k bass stock need angling trust protection. Why won't you work with your peers instead of castigating them. They have the answer.

Recipie's for mullet stew more than welcomed.

Angling sanitation trust and kent and sussex sea anglers org delete's and blocks rsa's alternative opinion on their face book site. Although they claim to rep all.

new for 2014. where is the evidence that the south coast bream stock need the angling trust? Your campaign has no evidence. Why won't you work with your peers, the inshore under tens? As opposed to alienating them? Angling trust failed big time re bait digging, even fish legal attempted to intervene and failed, all for what, nothing.

Looks like the sea angling reps have been coerced by the ifca's to compose sea angling strategy's that the ifca's at some stage will look at drafting into legislation to manage the rsa, because they like wasting tax payers money. That's without asking the rsa btw. You know who you are..

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Andrew Member

Andrew

Posted
Posted

guffaw guffaw :icecream:

"La conclusión es que los insultos sólo perjudican cuando vienen de alguien que respeto". e5006689.gif

“Vescere bracis meis”

 

 

 

 

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Worms Member

Worms

Posted
Posted

Regarding the deer crossing one, I heard that as a radio 'phone-in....but the silly woman kept on with it!

 

  • Like 1

Eating wild caught fish is good for my health, reduces food miles and keeps me fit trying to catch them........it's my choice to do it, not yours to stop me!

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Worms Member

Worms

Posted
Posted (edited)

No need to apologise Phone....we're used to it.... :hypocrite:

Edited by Worms
  • Like 1

Eating wild caught fish is good for my health, reduces food miles and keeps me fit trying to catch them........it's my choice to do it, not yours to stop me!

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