Hey Barry,
Emapthy coming out to you there my friend.
Mother in law is back at home now, as the care home had taken it upon themselves to stop feeding and giving her drinks.
That was a year ago. She Can't move except for her eyes now, a progressively worsening brain thing.
While I don't know about the financial side, my sister in law deals with that, i'm sure the nhs have not got any fingers in her house, which is part owned by her other, other daughter.
Its a full time job caring for her on my Sis's part. The Carers also come in at least 4 times a day to help with the nescessary bodily functions(she also has a catheter and a feeding tube) getting her up for the day, moving her from chair to wheelchair & putting her to bed.
Its a pretty busy house with all this going on & we're used to nearly always having other people in the house (I mostly live with my Sister in Law)
Mother in Law goes into respite care every month or so, to give the family a break as it can make you get to the point of tearing your hair out when someone is constantly moaning & you've done everything you can think of but you don't know where its hurting them.
I'm amazed at my Sister in laws resolve, when i'm looking after her on my own, I really don't know what to do sometimes & i'm usually glad when the carers turn up.
Hope some of that helps, its no easy task and there are no easy answers.
Best Wishes,
Zig