Ken L

The constant worries about where the H5N1 bird-flu is at any one point in time is just so much media hype but if/when it stops being bird-flu and starts being people-flu it's going to leave continents reeling and so many people dead that the bodies will be left on the streets to rot.

Not mad enough for you lot then ? Try this http://www.drboylan.com/

"The government has deemed blind and visually impaired people competent enough to use a cooker for cooking, sharp knives to prepare the food, gas fires to keep warm, etc. They are also, according to the goverment, competent to use MACHINERY,to wit, Vacuum cleaners, washing machines, tumble dryers, blenders, mixers and anything else in the home!" How so ? [ 17. October 2005, 10:03 PM: Message edited by: Ken L ]

Nah, it takes a very special kind of idiot to pee me off to the point where I'm the one who starts the fists flying. Last time was a nice young man who was in the process of breaking into my fathers car with a window bar. I caught him red handed and as I could see there was no damage, I told him to "go away" or words to that effect. Unbelievably, he tried telling me it was his mates car and I just lost it...... Other than that, I only hit paying customers.

"It would be good to know if options other than running away or whacking people with mag lights exist." I've been involved in the martial arts for over twenty years and whilst it is possible to lock people up or tweak their nervous systems to control them in a dojo, nothing comes close to the reliability of repeatedly hitting them as hard as you can before they get the chance to do it to you for reliable and repeatable results. I have restrained people who were swinging at me by joint locking without striking them first, but doing this in a live situation takes a lot of practice (I hold black belt grades in both Aikido and Ju-Jitsu) and a fair bit of luck. Far better to smak them in the face and then start grappleing. As for pressure points. Don't believe the hype. The only pressure point knockout that I've ever seen work on the street was the tip of the jaw - applied with a fist or an elbow. Just a quick edit to point out that a finger tip to the eyeball also works, but Mr Plod tends to get upset - obviously, eyball juice is hard to get off a uniform and hospitals make for more paperwork [ 17. October 2005, 06:15 PM: Message edited by: Ken L ]

Jeepsters favorite = "foie gras". Apparently, this contains "no intensively reared meat". :confused:

In no particular order: Cod Chips & Mushy Peas – Preferably from Kristen’s on the fish quay at Tynemouth. Thai Green Chicken Curry – From Bangkok. Thai/Vietnamese Green Papaya Salad. Balti Chicken with a fresh Nan. Khatong Laksa. Chicken with Chorizo, Cannelini Beans and Spinach. Christmas dinner with all the trimmings – including chestnut stuffing. Proper Steak and Kidney Pudding. Goan fish Curry. Mousakka.

Lots of maps here http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=Pirate...G=Search+Images If you open the link to the image of the map on the extreeme right of the first line, the guy tells you that he stains the paper with tea and wine and draws the map in ink. Rough up the edges with a lighter and Bob's your unkle. You could even make a map based on a high resolution O/S map of the area that you'll be visiting and burry some "treasure" for him to find.

I keep on running into this guy's pages when I'm bored and trawling the net for weired stuff. If you think that some of the links sound fairly normal, just click, read and be amazed. http://www.detailshere.com/

And for those who enjoy the cheary flipside: http://www.findyourfate.com/deathmeter/deathmtr.html

Ah, the anchient Japanese art of running away. Otherwise known as Nike-Jutsu. Bit of a bummer when you're leaving a couple of grands worth of kit on the bank though.

Ryanair offer stripped down prices and a stripped down service. If someone needs something more than the stripped down service, it's not unreasonable to ask then to pay for it - whether it's an inflight sandwich or a carer. If somebody wants an airline to wipe their ar5e for them, they should use a major player and pay the premuim or buy an extra ticket for their carer.

Ovbious inclusions would be how to hold/use a Maglite style torch in the event of you suspecting that someone is sneeking about at night. You could also include suff like making sure that the lanyards on things like disgorgers that hang around your neck are not so strong that they can be used to pull you arround or strangle you. It's also usefull to be able to grab something like a disgorger for use as an impromptu Kobutan On a similar line, it might be worth suggesting that baliffs who wear ties (are there still any left ?) should seriously consider a clip on. [ 15. October 2005, 07:55 PM: Message edited by: Ken L ]

Has anyone ever seen or heared Ronnie Barker doing this one ? I've just done a quick search to see if I could locate an audio or video file of it on the net and most results seem to indicate that it was acually done by some guy called Red Skelton.

35 - but a fair number of those are folders with title like "Fishing tackle supliers" or "DVD's and CD's". If I started opening those up and counting the contents, the total might be just a tad higher than it is now.

GREAT ! Erm.......what website ?

Hope nobody has a fishing trip planned for Brazil. http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/news_web/video...270_bb_16x9.asx

My favorite one is not being able to call anyone a "liar" in case it upsets them. I have however sent several official letters to people that contain the phrase "Your signed statement of **/**/**** is inconsistent with established facts". I also have a mate (not at work I hasten to add) who has been known to refere to black and asian people as "ethnicly challenged". demon Not that he's a racist, he does it just to pi55 off the PC brigade.

Goodness Gracious

Nope, Just that my hand started trembleing at the very thought of the aural assault that is "Trout Mask Replica"

Killjoy was here http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/mulelion.asp

You should get sky ! So much more dross to hate than terestrial TV alone - and if you think bad programs are annoying, try finding a genuinely good program an dhaving Mr Murdoch's cronies cram in an ad break every 10 minutes and have such an increase in volume every time the ads come on that it sends you diving for the remote to turn them down or off.

And, their president thinks that GOD told him to invade Iraq.

Sparrowhawk. Bare legs and their hunting style causes them to hit windows all the time.

Interesting comparison. Allegedly, there are people out there who listen to the likes of Captain Beefheart's "Trout Mask Replica" album and profess to enjoy it. Now for me, that album has about as much merit as anything ever done by Tracey Emin (ie. NONE) but they seem to like it.