Blumin furriners.....

[noah]

When I lived on a farm in devon, a couple bought the run down farm cider press barn and converted it into nice little holiday homes. Within two months of moving in they complained that the cows were mooing and the sheep were barring and the tractor made the road dirty and was not in keeping with the countryside :confused:

We got our own back by buying a scrapped car, parking it in thier drive way, placeing a brick on the accelerator pedal, starting the engine and walking away. we then complained about the state of there drive way and all the oil running into the drains. shame they had to pay for the clean up costs

[captain birdseye]

I have one of those asylum seeker chappies living next door to me and he's a bit of a good sport and helps me with my garden and shopping and all that malarky.

Well i took him along fishing one day and he took to it like a duck to water.

Out fishes me no end and as now started going off on is own for a spot of night fishing.

Brought me a nice carp round for the pot and i had to say to him look here old chap we dont eat the fish in old blighty unless they are game fish or sea fish.

he was a bit put out and asked why catch them in the first place if you dont eat them.

goodness gracious me i said its just not the done thing as we catch them for sport and if you get cought you will get a rocket up the old backside i told him.

he promised not to bring anymore home but ive see n his wife gutting them one day when i called round, a grand lass she is too.

i was going to have a word in someones ear about it all but i dident want to come across all british and stuck up if you know what i mean.

So im in a bit of a quandry at the moment and wonder if i should tell bill down at the pond about it all.

i dont want to get him banned and be called a racist old trout but he could empty the pond of some good fish.

[Guest jay_con]

Seems to be happening a lot. They are obsessed with seagulls around these parts and want them all killed. Seagulls at the seaside. How rediculous.

 

Whilst Im on one. Some guy came here from Barnsley the other week and wrote to the paper about the state of an allottment He saw. If your from Barnsley please forgive me but im sure it aint the most scenic of places. If you dont like our allottments stay home and look at the gas works.

[Westie]

We live right on the main road running through our village. The traffic is very tiresome and noisy. Paperboys try to deliver papers to our neighbours opposite and crunch on the gravel. Because of the fields to the back, there are smells of cow-pat, increased numbers of flies. Our neighbours have the audacity to talk in their gardens, ruining our peace and quiet.

 

Still, my wife will soon have the car problem under control - she's going to kill any speeding motorists, lie 'em on the road, cover them in tarmac and hey presto - sleeping policemen and fewer speeding motorists. Anyone with an Evo needs to watch out.

[Wild Angler]

Nothing to do with fishing but its funny, as long as your not a Seagull, and has something to do with our influx of immigrants…..

 

Our foreigners are much better than all of your lot…!

 

Reading front page news form our local weekly rag…”The Highland News” I discovered that a Polish Guy has been arrested for roasting Seagulls! This guy was seen to bait his flower box on a second floor flat with bread, wait until some gulls landed and then an arm would appear and pull one of the gulls into his flat. While he was waiting for his next gull to land passers-by could see terrified sea gulls flying around and smashing into other windows of his flat as poor birds tried to escape. The police and RSPCB were called but alas when they got there they could only find roasting bird carcases in this guys oven. The poor Polish guys is reported to have said that he was hungry

[sam-cox]

Maybe you should show him how to catch signal crayfish, as lots of cause fisheries are over run with them

[Snatcher]

That Polish guy sounds like a star to me

[maidstonemike]

Like the ***** who take people to court over a cockrel doing his thing at 4am. Don't live in the country if you don't like the smells and sounds of country life. I know which i prefer compared to trucks, cars and brain dead twits with their car stereos blaring out of open car windows so we can all apreciate their superb taste in music.