Attention Deficit

[Jeff S]

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. D. D. -Attention Deficit Disorder.

 

 

 

This is how it manifests:

 

I decide to water my garden.

 

... As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

 

.... As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

 

... I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

 

... I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

 

... So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

 

... But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

 

….I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only 1 cheque left.

 

... My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

 

.. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

 

... As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

 

... I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

 

... I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

 

... I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

 

... I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

 

... I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

 

... So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

 

... Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

 

... At the end of the day:

 

 

 

the car isn't washed

 

the bills aren't paid

 

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

 

the flowers don't have enough water,

 

there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,

 

I can't find the remote,

 

I can't find my glasses,

 

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

 

... Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

 

... I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail. ... Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent. Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

[Andy Macfarlane]

.....sorry, what was that you were saying??

[Gray-Catchpole]

thats me all over Jeff, nice one

[argyll]

Jeff who?

[Emz]

Jeff S I'm guessing

 

Jeff S:

 Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it

 

I don't ever get that bad personally, if I did, as mentioned above, nothing would ever get done!

[Ian FG]

Bloody scary! i think I have the early signs.

[Jeff S]

Ian FG:

Bloody scary! i think I have the early signs.

I know I do and some days are better than others.. If I could just remember my name.

[Guest jay_con]

Im at the full blown stage. You missed an H out. A good dose of amphetamine will sort u out.

[chesters1]

sprouts

[ayjay]

Welcome to the world of getting older Jeff.

 

I was once, on a Friday evening, on the verge of going away for the weekend when I decided the pond needed topping up, to cut a long story short, the water was extremely clear when I got home on Sunday night having left the hose trickling in there all weekend, pleased to say that all the fish survived.