Most embarassing drunk occasion?

[Westie]

Always fun to get the staggers - but there is a dark side...

 

I'm in the process of compiling my top 100, but stories include "The Tramp" and "The Wedding".

 

The Tramp

 

Just an odd story - typical student pi$$ up in town - necking lager like it was going out of fashion - 15 bladdered blokes taking a shortcut through a church yard in the middle of town - 10 decide they need a pee (including me). Very unreligiously urinating in a row against the side of the church, when I thought my double vision went strangely warped - the ground started moving and the next thing I heard was a slightly irritated ( and damp ) "oi". Well I hadn't seen the tramp sleeping there.

 

The Wedding

 

A mighty fine 3 hour booze induced mental blackout. But helpfully filled in by my wife and workmates:

 

- for some reason I found it funny to say "Mmmm Shaggy" to anyone that spoke to me in a bad Shaggy stylee

 

- I asked a bridesmaid if I could eat the little cake that had been given to her by the bride as a momento for the day

 

- I used the candle in the middle of the table as an ashtray, unleashing about 2 pints of molten wax across the table and into my own lap

 

- I didn't realise that the 45 degree pint holding stance meant that the bride's shoes were a little damp after I bade her good night

 

These are numbers 100 and 99. Anyone else care to confess?

[Guest jay_con]

Shouldnt really tell you about fancying that woman in Paris who turned out to be a man .I Dont touch a drop these days.

[Westie]

LMFAO. Cheers Winter - I feel better already

[argyll]

Amsterdam 1993, we stopped off for a little drinky between Malindi and London. Ended the evening with a tattoo on back of my left shoulder. Didnt feel a thing.

 

Hogmannay 1985, West coast of Scotland. Went out to the bridge over the stream to sober up. Leaned on the handrail. There was no handrail. Didnt feel a thing.

 

Hogmannay 1984 West coast of Scotland. New years morning. started drinking early then followed everyone up to the stables for a ride before lunch. Horse stopped suddenly at the end of a canter, I fell off. Trying to get up off the soft ground I slipped. Horse stood on the back of my hand. Finished the morning in Oban hospital with a number of broken bones. Felt that.

 

[ 23. August 2005, 10:37 PM: Message edited by: argyll ]

[piker/carper]

[***Simon***]

i dont know where to start

[big_cod]

When me and the misses first got together motherinlaw let us stay at her place for a while till we got a flat ,went on the **** first night got up during the night to go to the toilet wandered into the wrong bedroom ****oo had a head like tomato next morning.

[Guest jay_con]

God forbid. Poor old motherinlaw. Was she ok?

[Westie]

My brother in law had to look after his wife's Mum's house while she was on holiday. He got stociously drunk, and wandered downstairs and pi$$ed all over one of the cushions on her sofa. He woke up an hour or so later from where he fell, realised his error and decided to dry the cushion out by propping it up near a 3 bar electric heater. And fell asleep.

 

Still, the smell of burnt cloth masked the smell of his 'accident'.

[Ken L]

Done the tramp thing. Lots of booze. Go for a pee between two buildings where the autumn leaves had gathered. Had a pair of blearey eyes open amongst the leaves.

 

Got drunk with 5 mates and one sober driver in a white car. Got ordered to get a big bag of chips whilst the driver drove arround the one way system as there was no parking. Got the chips, had a white car pull up and went for the door. Naturally, I assumed hat the hands desperatly trying to push down the little door locking knob were part of a drunken jape so I opened the door spun arround and sat down. Unfortunatly, I was greated by the sight of three terrified old folks 'cause I'd got into the wrong white car.

 

Got drunk on real cider and had to walk back allong country lanes without a torch. I saw something in the road ahead of me and thought "Hey man, that's a rabbit that is" closely followed by "I reckon that if I'm quick and quiet, I can run after it and catch it".

Amazingly, I did run quickly and quietly without falling over and made a perfect swoopiing capture with one hand on the rump and the other on the scruff of the neck.

Unfortunatly, I very quickly realised that it wasn't a cudley little bunny. It was a very large and very, very angry badger which after mutch snarling found itself deposited on the other side of a fence.