Beware of the bull

[Vagabond]

Wordbender:

perhaps it's the 'dogs reflecting their owners' deal

Saw a gate plaque t'other day - it said

 

"Never mind the dog, Beware the owner"

 

Now why did I immediately think of Chevin ?

[chevin]

Vagabond:

Yes mate, excellent stuff.

 

Reminds me of another Penfold/windscreen wiper incident.

 

Now readers have a pen-picture of Penfold, it can be kept brief - as recounted by Chevin

 

"...trip up to Exmouth.......we ran into a short rainstorm.......I switched on the windscreen wipers. Penfold promptly came over the top from the rear seat in an attempt to kill them"              

 

BTW Wordbender. The name Morris.

Is that inspired by the Bull-nosed Morris car ?

Oh yes, I thought that you meant the first one. Yeah the wife and I were going to Port Gregory for a week and had left at around 3.00am. We had tried to secure Penfold in the back of the Patrol but it impossible to test a securing system for a bull terrier without the aid of a Sherman tank. Anyway, I turned on the wipers and 35kgs of bull terrier comes hurtling at the screen between the two of us. Drastic measures were essential so I swung round and aimed a real good right at his head. Normally Penfold would accept something like that as a sign of my undying love but on this occasion he ducked and the Missus copped it instead! To be honest she was probably at the optimum distance for that punch - Penfold would have been too close. When it landed it had that satisfying feel like when you hit a cricket ball in the middle of a bat. I have landed one or two like that in fights and as they do so, you know that they have hurt. She was actually a bit annoyed about it and me saying that it was one of the best rights I had ever landed didn't seem to placate her one little bit. All she did was grizzle about the bruise that was already developing. A few moments later our problem was reduced to its true perspective when we came upon a car that had just crashed at speed into a tree. The state of the driver made it quite unnecessary to check for any vital signs. The issue has never been mentioned since, I think that Valerie has just tried to put the whole morning out of her mind.

[Wordbender]

chevin:

 

BTW Wordbender. The name Morris.

Is that inspired by the Bull-nosed Morris car ?

You've got it, mate! When he was a puppy, that's JUST what his face reminded me of.

 

Erm...he's been called PLENTY of names since, though.

[chevin]

Vagabond:

"Never mind the dog, Beware the owner"

 

Now why did I immediately think of Chevin ?      

Yeah, well neither Penfold or Sullivan ever ran a station kiosk!*LOL*

[Alan Stubbs]

I have just sat reading this with tears of laughter pricking at my eyes. Priceless stuff from two quality wordsmiths.

 

It isn't in the same league as you guys, but I had a run in with a rottweiler 20 years ago, almost to the day....

 

Shortly before I got married I was living alone in the marital home, and had made friends with a neighbour who bred rottweilers. Big, daft but immensely strong and sociable dogs, who would allow you to stroke them, make a fuss of them and in general be as sociable in return with them. They would not, however, permit you to walk by without acknowledging them. the noise was incredible.

 

One saturday morning - the saturday before our wedding, Linda was getting her hair done and we'd arranged to meet in Chatham, and I took the 'scenic' walk across the Great Lines into town. By 'scenic', what I mean is a different perspective upon what will only ever be improved by the dropping of an atom bomb.

 

At the top of the hill, I was suddenly aware that someone was riding a horse, which is not uncommon up there, but this was travelling at a rate of knots, and obviously under training by Martin Pipe. The noise of the stampede grew louder and I turned around to see my neighbour being dragged , well given an aerial tow, to be more accurate, behind the rottweiler bitch who obviously wanted to say hello.

 

Did you know that an 11st dog can knock all the wind out of you, and cause concussion as you hit your head of frozen ground? Were you aware of the amount of saliva a rottweiler deposits on you when it licks your face? Were you aware that rottweilers carry congential halitosis?

 

I was going to say that as a result I needed to go home to change my clothes, but under the circumstances, that sends a confusing message to the readership!

 

[ 07. March 2005, 10:33 AM: Message edited by: Alan Stubbs ]

[chevin]

Alan Stubbs:

 Big, daft but immensely strong and sociable dogs, who would allow you to stroke them, make a fuss of them and in general be as sociable in return with them. They would not, however, permit you to walk by without acknowledging them. the noise was incredible.

Hmmm, they sound like very big bull terriers!*LOL*

[Steve Burke]

Great bulldog stories, beautifully told. Thanks all of you!

 

Terry - congratulations on the book from both Peggy and me. Peggy stll remembers the stories you kindly did for her magazine.