Don't read this whilst eating!!!!

[Polly]

A woman had been absent from college for a number of weeks. When she returned one of her close friends was curious as to why she had been sick for so long. The following story emerged. The woman and her boyfriend enjoyed involving food in their foreplay, mars bars,cream,syrup, gravy, peanut butter, you name it. One day the boyfriend,

before going to work,made his sandwiches for the day, tuna mayonnaise leaving the leftover tuna Mayo lying out on the kitchen top. He went to work,came home, had dinner and relaxes in for a night in with his girlfriend. Time passes and the pair of them get in the mood and start “doing the do”. The boyfriend leaps up, after yodelling in

the canyon for a while, and remembers the tuna Mayo. He gets the tuna Mayo off the kitchen table begins to slap it all over his girlfriend’s

body (applying voluminous amounts to her vaginal area) and starts to lick it off. Two days later after their night of tuna Mayo lust has passed,

the couple start to feel very ill. The boyfriend first, he seems to be unable to stop vomiting and the girlfriend later who keeps on getting severe stomach cramps. The boyfriend puts this down to eating the tuna Mayo that had been lying out uncovered all day, and sure enough his jippy belly soon eases off after day or so. His girlfriend, however, continues to feel ill, her pain worsening and her abdominal area becoming increasingly sore and tender. This goes on for a few more days until the girlfriend can’t even

get out of her bed for the pain in her crotch and abdominal area. So her boyfriend takes her to the doctors,who recommends she see a gynaecologist. Thinking she may have cervical cancer, the gynaecologist checks her out and to his horror discovers far inside the woman’s vagina is a

swarm of maggots that have been eating into her upper vaginal cavity. Apparently what happened was the tuna Mayo, after being left uncovered, in the sun, attracted a number of flies, who naturally laid their eggs, which the boyfriend ate and the girlfriend incubated.

 

ANOTHER TRUE STORY

 

A woman went through the drive- thru of Burger King for lunch a couple of years ago. She ordered a chicken sandwich (the breaded kind...before spicy chicken or grilled chicken became big sellers for BK) and specifically requested NO MAYO because she couldn’t stand the stuff. She drove away without confirming that she got what she ordered. As she drove, she began to eat the sandwich and realised that there was mayo on. She was none too pleased but was so hungry that she ate it anyway. When she got about halfway through the sandwich, she began to feel very ill. She stopped eating the sandwich but felt increasingly

worse as she continued to drive. She felt so bad that she drove herself to the hospital emergency room. She took her sandwich with her since she

started feeling bad after eating the sandwich. The hospital performed tests on both her and the sandwich and found out the following... The Sandwich actually didn’t have any Mayo on it.

In reality, the chicken had a tumour on its breast. When the chicken was breaded and fried, the tumour burst inside the breaded chicken

breast. The Mayo-like substance was actually puss from the tumour. Kind of makes you want to swear off fast food and Mayo, doesn’t it!

 

ANOTHER TRUE STORY......

 

This girl was really in a hurry one day so she just stopped off at a Taco Bell and got a Chicken soft taco and ate it on the way home. That night she noticed her jaw was kind of tight and Swollen. The next day it was a little worse so she went to her doctor. He said she was just having an allergic reaction to something and gave her some cream to rub on her jaw. After a couple of days the swelling had just gotten worse and she

could hardly move her jaw. She went back to her doctor to see what was wrong. Her doctor had no idea so he started to run some tests. They

scrubbed out the inside of her mouth to get tissue samples and they also took some saliva samples. Well, they found out what was wrong.

Apparently her chicken soft taco had a pregnant cockroach in the one she ate!!!! The eggs then somehow got into her saliva glands and she

was incubating them. They had to remove a couple layers of her inner mouth to get all the eggs out. If they hadn’t figured out what was going on, the eggs would have hatched inside the lining of her mouth.

 

Enjoy your Lunch!!!

[Chris Plumb]

I smell Urban Legends...

 

See hear...

 

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blmc....htm?terms=mayo

 

Chris

[ayjay]

It'll take more than that to put me off my food,and yes I was eating my dinner whilst reading it.

[Colin Payne]

http://www.wvec.com/news/local/mcchicken_head.htm

 

Check this out!

[Newt]

The middle story may or may not be accurate.

 

The first and last pretty much have to be bogus though - great reading but bogus.

 

Maggots will not eat healthy tissue. At all. Period. They are used even today to clean out wounds in cases where a knife would be too unselective. Simply put maggots into the wound and then cover it with netting so they can get air but won't escape. Presto - all dead tissue, pus, and other bad stuff are gone leaving nothing but clean, healthy tissue.

 

So, unless this lady had some major problems up there already, the maggots would have done no damage whatever. Maybe tickled a bit though. You can buy "medical grade" maggots from any number of hospital supply companies.

 

And a cockroach female with eggs will carry them in a large (up to 1/4 the size of the roach) external sac which will hang off her hindparts. Break the sac and the eggs die.

 

FWIW - I fished a lot with cockroaches as a youngster and loved to get one with an egg sac since the fish always seemed to like them quite well. Great free bait. Just put out a trap and bait it with old bannana or damp bread. Next morning, you got bait.

 

These days I buy crickets for bait though since the wife for some reason is unwilling to plunge her hand into a cage full of roaches to get one for bait. Go figure.

[anglerusmaximus]

Have you heard the story [true] about the woman who ate a mouse in her burger?

 

The mouse had either been perposely put in or accidently put in. The woman was tucking in to her burger from K.F.C when she crunched on it's bones!

 

It was a mixture of beef and mice!

 

She sewed them into a £150.000.000 compensation payout!

 

ps. Im not lying by the way!