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Non racist, religious joke for you

Huge_Vitae

By Huge_Vitae
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Huge_Vitae Member

Huge_Vitae

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A man is walking down the road when he sees a garden full of the most beautiful Tulips he has ever seen. He is admiring them when the owner of the house comes out and the man asks him how he grows such an abundant crop of perfect tulips.

 

The owner invites him into his house to show him the 'secret' and lets the man see cages and cages of hamsters.

 

The man is still puzzled so the owner says... "Everday I take a dozen hamsters, I put them in a liquidiser and then boil them covered with sugar until the sugar melts."

 

"How does that help!" says the man.

 

"Oh sorry " he replies "I thought everybody knew that the best Tulips come from Hamster Jam.........." :yucky:

Edited by Huge_Vitae

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

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gozzer Member

gozzer

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A man is walking down the road when he sees a garden full of the most beautiful Tulips he has ever seen. He is admiring them when the owner of the house comes out and the man asks him how he grows such an abundant crop of perfect tulips.

 

The owner invites him into his house to show him the 'secret' and lets the man see cages and cages of hampsters.

 

The man is still puzzled so the owner says... "Everday I take a dozen hampsters, I put them in a liquidiser and then boil them covered with sugar until the sugar melts."

 

"How does that help!" says the man.

 

"Oh sorry " he replies "I thought everybody knew that the best Tulips come from Hampster Jam.........." :yucky:

 

 

As president of the local Hampster??????? appreciation society, I am disgusted with that joke??

I do not find it the least bit funny, I assume that is what passes for humour in a small inbred island community such as yours. I was so disgusted that I let my gerbil stew boil over and now must clean up the mess. I hold you personally responsible for my ruined dinner, and will send you the bill for the fuel needed to run to the chip shop for a replacement meal.

 

 

Yours Sincerely

 

Disgusted of Leeds

Angling is more than just catching fish, if it wasn't it would just be called 'catching'......... John

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Guest Ferret1959

Guest Ferret1959

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As president of the local Hampster??????? appreciation society, I am disgusted with that joke??

I do not find it the least bit funny, I assume that is what passes for humour in a small inbred island community such as yours. I was so disgusted that I let my gerbil stew boil over and now must clean up the mess. I hold you personally responsible for my ruined dinner, and will send you the bill for the fuel needed to run to the chip shop for a replacement meal.

 

 

Yours Sincerely

 

Disgusted of Leeds

 

 

As president of the local Gerbil appreciation society, I was so disgusted about your Gerbil stew that I let my Rabbit stew boil over and now must clean up the mess. I hold you personally responsible for my ruined dinner, and will send you the bill for the fuel needed to run to the chip shop for a replacement meal.

 

Yours Sincerely

 

Disgusted of Leicester.

 

;)

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Huge_Vitae Member

Huge_Vitae

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As president of the local Hampster??????? appreciation society, I am disgusted with that joke??

I do not find it the least bit funny, I assume that is what passes for humour in a small inbred island community such as yours. I was so disgusted that I let my gerbil stew boil over and now must clean up the mess. I hold you personally responsible for my ruined dinner, and will send you the bill for the fuel needed to run to the chip shop for a replacement meal.

Yours Sincerely

 

Disgusted of Leeds

Dear Disgusted of Leeds,

 

How dare you try to threaten me with a law-suit on such information, Fuel Needed to go to the chip shop indeed. Everybody knows that there are no petrol engined vehicles in Leeds as they have all been stolen and set on fire by joy-riders.

 

Secondly If you live in Leeds you either live IN a chip shop or next door to one.

 

Thirdly people in Leeds don't eat stew they eat pies.

 

Lastly "CLEAN UP THE MESS"................. In Leeds :P:P:P

 

As president of the local Gerbil appreciation society, I was so disgusted about your Gerbil stew that I let my Rabbit stew boil over and now must clean up the mess. I hold you personally responsible for my ruined dinner, and will send you the bill for the fuel needed to run to the chip shop for a replacement meal.

 

Yours Sincerely

 

Disgusted of Leicester.

 

;)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :blink:

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

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gozzer Member

gozzer

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Dear Disgusted of Leeds,

 

How dare you try to threaten me with a law-suit on such information, Fuel Needed to go to the chip shop indeed. Everybody knows that there are no petrol engined vehicles in Leeds as they have all been stolen and set on fire by joy-riders.

 

Secondly If you live in Leeds you either live IN a chip shop or next door to one.

 

Thirdly people in Leeds don't eat stew they eat pies.

 

Lastly "CLEAN UP THE MESS"................. In Leeds :P:P:P

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :blink:

 

 

Not very interesting ............... :P:P:P:P

Angling is more than just catching fish, if it wasn't it would just be called 'catching'......... John

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Ken L Member

Ken L

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Both of you are murderers !

 

Chip shops sell the corpses of sea fish.

Don't you know how much the eating of said corpses is going to upset the chappies on the sea fishing forum ?

Edited by Ken L

Species caught in 2020: Barbel. European Eel. Bleak. Perch. Pike.

Species caught in 2019: Pike. Bream. Tench. Chub. Common Carp. European Eel. Barbel. Bleak. Dace.

Species caught in 2018: Perch. Bream. Rainbow Trout. Brown Trout. Chub. Roach. Carp. European Eel.

Species caught in 2017: Siamese carp. Striped catfish. Rohu. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Black Minnow Shark. Perch. Chub. Brown Trout. Pike. Bream. Roach. Rudd. Bleak. Common Carp.

Species caught in 2016: Siamese carp. Jullien's golden carp. Striped catfish. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Alligator gar. Rohu. Black Minnow Shark. Roach, Bream, Perch, Ballan Wrasse. Rudd. Common Carp. Pike. Zander. Chub. Bleak.

Species caught in 2015: Brown Trout. Roach. Bream. Terrapin. Eel. Barbel. Pike. Chub.

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Huge_Vitae Member

Huge_Vitae

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Chip shops sell the corpses of sea fish.

Not in Leeds, they have Deep Fried PERCH :headhurt:

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

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Ken L Member

Ken L

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Perch !!!!!!

Quiet man, you'll upset the natives

Edited by Ken L

Species caught in 2020: Barbel. European Eel. Bleak. Perch. Pike.

Species caught in 2019: Pike. Bream. Tench. Chub. Common Carp. European Eel. Barbel. Bleak. Dace.

Species caught in 2018: Perch. Bream. Rainbow Trout. Brown Trout. Chub. Roach. Carp. European Eel.

Species caught in 2017: Siamese carp. Striped catfish. Rohu. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Black Minnow Shark. Perch. Chub. Brown Trout. Pike. Bream. Roach. Rudd. Bleak. Common Carp.

Species caught in 2016: Siamese carp. Jullien's golden carp. Striped catfish. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Alligator gar. Rohu. Black Minnow Shark. Roach, Bream, Perch, Ballan Wrasse. Rudd. Common Carp. Pike. Zander. Chub. Bleak.

Species caught in 2015: Brown Trout. Roach. Bream. Terrapin. Eel. Barbel. Pike. Chub.

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Huge_Vitae Member

Huge_Vitae

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Excellent chaps, very funny :lol::lol::lol:

 

Ermm...you do know you're not very well don't you.

They LET me out, what proof have you got, I got a piece of paper that says I am 'Better'

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

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