Leaderboard

Pffft! Not for me. "The Horse"

Ah yes, politics... MPs... House of Lords. ”In the land of the blind the one eyed man is the King.”

Two cheeks of the same ass.

Is that cunnilingus aswell ?,25 yards and me tongues so dry you could use it as a surfboard

Quote from article linked: [Quote]Many local Labour branches are made up of only a few dozen members, and the motion has no bearing on the larger Camberwell and Peckham Constituency Labour Party (CLP) which elects people to national party structures.[/Quote] NB: Labour, Conservatives etc. are all as bad as each other in my view. Keith

Well now i know my cctv investment was worthwhile .i had an email from yodel telling me a parcel had arrived ,nothing seen in porch and no-one had knocked. Went through cctv ,white van stopped outside at about 10 ,driver went to back then got back in and drove off! Thats him getting the gps fix ! Had a chat with yodel ,no sympathy computer says etc and driver handed it to me according to their app its been delivered. I replied if they can provide time of delivery i will provide timestamped footage of it NOT being delivered! Chap on other end came back he just checked (who with?) And the drivered had entered "delivered" in error and the parcel will be delivered tomorrow ! NOT the first time !,cctv not only sees what happens its a great way of proving something didnt happen! To get to my front door you will trigger 4 cameras even a mouse will be seen Update A parcel just appeared in my porch ,according to the app, yesterday it was delivered ,then a safe place couldnt be found then the driver couldnt access the property ,strange he had no problem today!

I think our friend has resurfaced MR Bush

Not as exciting as my day ,went detecting and as i climbed fence no sign of resident horse ! The owners in his 70's its his grandaughters horse .Went over to gates and both gates were gone (most probably brexit) anyway i thought i would check with owner and he knows nothing about gates then it dawns the hoses gone! Gates will have been pinched by pikies they seem to concentrate on an area taking any gates and man hole covers then disapear for a while ,the gates were pinched a few years ago and made safe but now disk cutters are battery powered nothing is safe! Opposite field is a large wood ,luckily i saw hoof marks on the verge so i knew it had gone that way .i wandered round and before i knew it it was almost to dark to see so i phoned my son who brought torches .i went back up and met him then carried on searching The wood has a bridal path in it and theres a track to the left and right right down by the river ,we chose the left and found nothing so at 1 am went up the other track that ended at a gate where an old lady keeps her horse ,the bugger was there looking over the gate at the other horse in its stable ,anyway we led the horse all the way back up the bridal path and parked it in the old guys garage ,got home at 2.30 . No tarriffs were involved, no frenchmen seen and only a small bit of diesel used Update ,horse in field with wooden gate on so unless it leans on it it should remain there ,metal detector picked up and old bloke says (out of bedroom window)gates have already been found . turns out when these were made (the opening is wide enough for a horse transporter so has two gates end to end and a single one from the parking area into the field) he had the fabricator stamp the bottom with the post code in small type .He phoned the cops they checked round the usual suspects and there they were hes no waiting to have them repaired and returned . I expect another couple of days they would have been in bits in a pile of scrap ,the cops disinterested and a crime number given as most things are today . Obviously the rural crime section is on its toes .The same thing happened when the gates to the house i worked in were pinched they were found in a few hours!

About the trees - I'm just a bad caster. About listing them in Latin - Sod Off I have a few years more trees, dogs, something big that shrieked one night and a seagull in flight to add.....

Extract from Tony Blair's book! 'I had regularly started jogging out of Downing Street . On each run I happened to jog past a hooker (prostitute) standing on the same street corner, day after day. With some apprehension I would brace myself as I approached her for what was most certainly to follow. "Fifty Pounds!" she would shout from the kerb. "No way, 50 pence!" I fired back. This ritual between myself and the hooker continued for days. I'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty Pounds!" And I'd yell back "50 pence!" One day, however, my wife Cherie decided that she wanted to accompany me on my jog. As we jogged nearer the problematic street corner, I realised the "pro" would bark her £50 offer and Cherie would wonder what I had really been doing on all my past outings. I realised I'd need to have a damn good explanation for my illustrious lawyer wife. As we jogged into the turn that would take us past the corner, I became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the hooker. I tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair of us jog past. Then, from the pavement, the hooker yelled, "See what you get for 50 pence?!!"