Colin Payne

Errrm......I've got some humble pie here if you want!! Thanks Portsmouth and Southampton!!

He rides a CBR600 so a bit of a hair dryer but more than the Nothing1000 that I ride at the moment. The last bike, a CX500 went about 10 years ago a year into the recent relationship. So after 10 years bikeless and having ridden(despatch rider,MAG member,toured France several times) for 10 years before that I am gagging for another bike. We were together for eleven years(not married) so not a lot compared to your 28 but it's still an arse.So I'll just see what comes along. Glad to hear your new partner is healthy again.

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite! 9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite! 11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite! 1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite! 4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite! 5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite! 5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite! 6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite! 8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....

A few months ago my partner and I split. We've been in the same place while I got some dosh together to find another place (renting). Well I've just put a deposit on a room in a massive house. The good bits are that the landlord is a biker and a big rock music fan and plays guitar. I am all of these and we hit it off straight away. The only bad bit is that he has no internet access and no inclination to get some. I suppose I might be able to persuede (spl) him at some time but from Sunday my access will be very limited ( ie when visiting the cats at the ex's) Although I don't post often, the 1st page I go to when I log on is AN so I'm really going to miss this place. Hopefully in a while I'll be back but in the meantime keep the place warm for me. Back soon Colin (sniff)

[ 28. October 2004, 01:02 AM: Message edited by: Colin Payne ]

I have been a fan for many years and mainly went to games in the 70s (Osgood, Hutchingson etc). I haven't really considered myself a supporter ie someone who puts money behind the turnstile but tonite I pushed the boat out and went to see the Blues beat the Hammers in the "league cup". Great game, but spoilt by first a bottle (plastic I think) thrown at I think Joe Cole. He just picked it up and pretended to drink from it. Nice touch! Then when Chelski got a penalty Kezman was hit by a coin. All at the West Ham end. As we left we could see a ruck going on there as well which in the news has been reported as 11 arrests. So this what I've been missing all these years oh and we narrowly missed a full scale punch up outside too! When I was a nipper and stood in the Shed end it was a laugh in our Doc Martins to watch all the rucks going on (never got involved) but now with so many kids and families going it really p***ed me off! So in conclusion I think I will continue putting my money behind Woking FCs turnstile and stand with approx. 1500 others whos' worst vice is to swear a little....well a lot when they play crap! As for Chelsea, well I'll always be a fan(born in Battersea...also known as South Chelsea) but I don't think 40 quid+ is good value when you risk a kicking!

I need some advice. I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my g/f. I think deep downI just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst crouched behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch. Should I take it into a body repair shop or should I buy some stuff from Halfords and try to repair it myself?

Oh man that explains the walk home from the pub last Friday! A 5 minute journey took half an hour because the space time continuum had been warped! Not sure if it explains the headache on Saturday morning though!

Fighting talk eh!!

I would like to thank Man U for stuffing the Gunners at last!! Only 2 points behind now!!!

The problem is that he had a previous tenant who ran up a big bill and knocked him for it. Also he doesn't want the line tied up. If I get the room I may be able to persuade him to get broadband which doesn't tie up the line but from his attitude about it I'm not sure he will. And he didn't seem keen on adding extra lines. [ 23. October 2004, 06:16 PM: Message edited by: Colin Payne ]

I'm just in the process of looking for somewhere else to live. A place I've just looked at (room in a shared house) doesn't have any internet set up and the owner is reluctant to start adding extra phone lines etc so is there any other way to get the internet...satellite or something like that or through the telly. It might seem a stupid question but I don't have a clue really. The room and house are so good I don't want to pass up the chance of getting it just because there is no internet.

"Gravity constant may not be" Errr sorry thought it was Yoda posting for a minute not Yoxer!!

Nah it's just Streatham High Road on an average Saturday night!

Well Sven did it and dropped him and look what happened!! Not totally convincing but 4 points out of 6 away is a good result. Funny thing is the England players refused to talk to the press afterwards as a protest against the negative press. Strange thing is though that the press slated James for his howler and then Sven Gollum dropped him, so doesn't that mean the press were right? Still what a dilemma to come when Campbell and Ferdinand are back and then we also have Rooney, Smith, Owen and Defoe fighting for a place up front!! I reckon they will qualify but I don't think on the last 2 games they would stand up to a quality opponent just like in the Euro Championship.

The thing is that Chelsea sent Gronkaer to the Vatican to see if he could find a decent cross and he came up with nothing!So he took one in a trial at Brum and nearly straightened Steve Bruces' nose out in the dugout! Thats got to be a good reason to buy him! [ 12. July 2004, 05:46 PM: Message edited by: Colin Payne ]

I was lucky enough to go for all three days last year on a freebie (coach driver) and I know F1 has its critics but you can never beat the sounds and smells of the cars going round. I've been to airshows watching Harriers doing their bit but the sound of an F1 car on full throttle beats it hands down. Good to see Kimi up there on pole, maybe the new car will get a few results, and they bloody need it! And yes I saw that lunatic on one of the infield tv screens, the crowd oohhed and aahhed more than than anything else in the race! Total Madman! This year I was asked to do the same job again but having changed company I couldn't do it....bummer!

Blimey Chesters I wouldn't light a ciggie in your place......I'd see and hear the bang from Woking!

What about some of the new ones... Muff Diver=fiver Ayrton=tenner............(Senna)!

Is that an offer Little O...! I don't think there is any way I could match the Chesters1 venom! When he gets his teeth into something they really stay stuck! I've calmed down a bit now but the sentiment is still the same. Colin

You know that Marina from Stingray, yeah you oldies remember her, beautiful girl from under the sea? Well she really exists.....honest I know, I used to date her! Problem is she started to get too serious. All I wanted was a bit of fun with no strings attached!!!!

I'm a coach driver and one of the "delights" of the job is taking spotty schoolkids to London. Usually from most starting points we get to destination in an hour and a half. Today it took 3 hours including a half an hour stop to take details when a car driver (Jim Davidson.....yes that one, no lie!!) opened the door of his SL55 AMG Merc in front of the lead coach and did it severe damage!! (the MERC that is). So whilst I take home £250 per week at just under £17k gross per year to drive on our capitals roads with all the idiots under the sun trying to take me and my precious cargo out, Mr Tube train driver sits on two rails all day with only the signals to watch and the stations to stop at for just under £33k a year, roughly double my wages!! "The RMT rejected an improved offer from LU managers on Monday, which would give workers a pay rise of 3.5% over the next year and a guarantee to reduce the working week by two-and-a-half hours by 2006. " 3.5% and a reduced working week within 1 1/2 years! Sounds good to me. What they forget when they strike is that not only does it affect the people that use the tube but also the whole of the rest of London and all the casual and not casual visitors to the City. What have these schoolgirls from Farnborough done to deserve sitting on a baking hot coach for 2 and a half hours there and 2 hours back. They live in Hampshire for fecks sake, I live in Surrey! I don't travel on the tube, but I have to drive in London( along with thousands of others) for a living. What gives these morons the right to screw with my life! When I worked for my current firm before we got a tenner a week payrise which was about 3.5%. If the drivers had kicked up its quite simple! They would be down the road to the job centre with their P45! I heard that only one in four drivers voted to strike and the rest abstained. Long Live the Union! People with their collective heads up their backsides who ought to come out and live in the real world! Rant Over! The Jim Davidson bit was for real, some of the girls were posing for pictures with him. When I suggested they should sell them to The Sun he said that they should! Hmm......maybe he need all the publicity he gets.....good or bad!

I didn't think the steps rule applied anymore?

We bought an old 5 series BMW recently and I posted a question on a BMW forum about the standard speakers in it. I described them as "crap" and that they make "farting" noises. In the reply I was told not to swear on the forum!! These were the only words that could be described as a bit iffy. I replied....." Am I to assume that the anagram of "CARP" or "FRAT" are considered swearing on here? I didn't realise that I'd 'ave to talk proper when I bought me beemer!!"