Martin56

Most of us will have now seen the News re the above. The controlled - knocking off of Moped/scooter thieves who target pedestrians, stealing mobile devices etc. They are Not killing enough of them!!! - Actually No one has been killed yet - maybe a few more MPH would do the trick & reversing over them to make sure!! We're talking Career Arseholes here!! or maybe due to just a shortage of Youth Clubs & social deprivation according to the "OK YA" Liberal Minded tossers, Nigel, Rupert & Sophie's of this world!!

Maybe the Lad should have picked on the home of Jacob Rees Mogg?? At least he would have been Humanely?? Bored to death with JRM's Riveting Repartee!! "You can rape my wife & we'll look after the baby, but please be an awfully good chap & be so kind as to leave my property when you've done!!." ​Please don't leave before you've sampled the Earl Grey!!

Congratulations mate, looks like your Bait Bill's going up in the not too distant future - to 11 pints of Maggots.

There's this one here - it's from a tackle shop ten min's bus ride from our house, a great set of lads who also know me very well. £199, but doesn't come with much re extras. Good price (reduced twice now) Post is Free for over £50 spend. https://tackle2u.com/pole-fishing/poles/concept-gt-power-carp-pole-13m

You could spend a similar amount on something different, but would then have all the added expense of the bits (bushes, pullers & cutting down etc) This one seems ready to go Bar the elastics?? PS I like Middy Hollow!!

My cousin who also takes me fishing swears by the MAP TKS (which stands for Top kit system) Last time I looked at it, my old 11m Browning had some damage to some of the sections. I haven't fished the pole in years, but it was something I used to enjoy and I was thinking I might do a bit of it again now I'm back up in the frozen North. I was looking at what was on the market in the £300-£400 range, and it looks like you can get a 13m carp pole which is lighter and stiffer than my old 11m match pole. I don't do commercials but I'm sure something like that would be fine for a bit of canal fishing with the right elastic and would have the versatility for heavier fishing if I felt like it. Lots of options from Drennan, MAP, Preston, Daiwa, etc. Any recommendations? The beauty being that ALL the MAP TKS Poles regardless of model/serial Number will take ALL the top kits in the TKS Range so fully Interchangeable. Here'a a 13 M one - you get a lot for just £345 ......... (click the Read More button in the Link below) Sorry the post is mixed up now - Bleedin' Editing again!! Included is a Match kit for the Canal!! + 2 x Power kits already bushed for pullers, cupping kit & cups https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjIz_u9wePeAhVHsO0KHX8pDoIYABAOGgJkZw&ohost=www.google.co.uk&cid=CAESEeD2R4sQoLiDN1jDDYg4LLi-&sig=AOD64_3vG6DFlosrV2DL7074XnXd1Gb_3w&ctype=5&q=&ved=0ahUKEwiI0va9wePeAhUrIsAKHUlBCyQQ9aACCDc&adurl=

A 16 year old boy lost his life whilst committing the act of Burglary. (Aided & abetted by 2 other older men) Unfortunately he picked on the house of a man who clearly has/had mental health issues. What would you have done?? (assuming you had a Gun) Tony Martin lived alone, had reported previous Break in's to the Police (He said) with little or no response. Burglars (as with any other occupation) should accept the risks attached to the job!!!!. Your comments would be very welcome.

And in "Never mind the quality - Feel the Width".

That said Ant, (& can't disagree) It's still a nice place to be for those of us who are left.

Here's some - copied from another Fishing Forum so not My work. Post Reply Search Page of 1 Filter fisherbill Talk Angling User Bagging Machine Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 458 Location: Louth. Lincs. Biggest Fish: 23lb Pike Send PM Share #1 It's Been A Long Time 2nd May 2018, 04:55 PM What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? A hippo is very heavy and a Zippo is a little lighter. A bloke’s watching a film with creepy organ music .Suddenly he screams “Don’t go in the church,you daft idiot!!!” His wife says “What are you watching?” He says “Our wedding video" The wife has had her knickers stolen off the washing line! She’s not fussed about getting the knickers back she furious she lost 40 pegs. When I was a kid my mum used to tuck me in. I think she really wanted a daughter. The guy who persuaded Stevie Wonder he needed sunglasses – he must have been a hell of a salesman. A man is about to have sex with a really fat woman, so he climbs on top of her. "Can I turn the light off?" he asks. "Why?" she replies, "Are you feeling a bit shy?" "No," he says, "it"s burning my bum!" I just put 400 pounds on a horse. Felt guilty, but the wife insisted on riding it! The wife was getting dressed up for a night out with her mates, walked into the lounge and asked me to rate her. "8 or 9 at least." I said. "Out of 10?" she asked. "Thanks, Babe, I'm flattered." Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant pints! I received a letter from Screwfix thanking me for my inquiry, and informing me they are not a dating agency...... A woman golfer runs into the clubhouse in obvious distress.The club pro rushes over and asks..."Are you OK?" "No" she says "I've just been stung by a wasp" "Where were you stung?" asks the pro "Between the first and second hole" she replied The pro says.. "I think your stance is too wide" True bravery is arriving home, stinking drunk after a very late night out with the boys, being met at the door and assaulted with a broom by your wife and still having the guts to ask: "Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?" The wife thinks I'm a lazy git, just because I've hired a secretary at work.. "What do you mean, lazy?" I protested. "She's only going to be dealing with my mail." "Bob," she replied "you're a postman." Just bought some Viagra tea bags. They don't improve your sex life, but they stop your biscuits going soft. A bloke goes into the doctors with a courgette up his bum, a stick of celery in his right ear, a carrot in his left ear and two tomatoes stuffed in each nostril He says "What's the matter with me Doc?" The Doctor replies "You're not eating properly" The guy who stole my diary has died..... My thoughts are with his family...... My wife works as a magician's assistant. I think she's picked up a few tricks. I came home from work early and found her in the bedroom. "Abracadabra!" she shouted, and my mate, Dave, came out of the wardrobe, stark naked. Poor sod must have wondered what the hell was going on! My sister was engaged to an Eskimo. She broke it off "I'm sorry, " said the doctor when my wife had her scan, "your child will be a slow developer and may well grow up to have criminal tendencies. " "Is there anything we can do? " We both asked. "Yes, " replied the doctor, "move away from Liverpool." Stephen hawking went on his first date in when he was twenty-two, he came back with smashed glasses, a broken wrist, two missing teeth and grazed knees. Apparently she stood him up! "Doctor, I'm embarrassed about the size of my willy. Every time I have sex my wife laughs and makes jokes about it." The Doctor says "Don't worry about it, it's quite common you know!" "Is it really?" I enquired. "Yes" he replied. "Your wife laugh's at everyone's!" Bloke wants his 70 year old wife dead. He asks a hitman how he would do it. Hitman says "I would aim to shoot her just below the left nipple" Bloke says "I want her dead, not knee capped!" I came home tonight to find my wife sitting on the floor surrounded by 1p and 2p coins. I think she's going through the change. Man goes to the doctor's with a mole on his penis. Doc says he will remove it this time but next time he will report it to the RSPCA. I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore. The missus reckons she can tell how good a film is by how many tissues she goes through when watching it. Funnily enough, I have a similar system. A policeman knocked on my door earlier. He said, "I think your wife's been in an accident." Cheeky git! Police are hunting the 'knitting needle nutter' who has stabbed 6 people. They believe he could be following some kind of pattern. My ex girlfriend suffered from seizures. One night I went into the bathroom to find her having a seizure in the bath. I did what most people would have done, threw the laundry in! I had my first cage fight last night The budgie didn't know what hit it. A female midget friend of mine told me she had decided to become a prostitute. It made me really sad: I feel like she's selling herself short. My mate drowned in a vat of muesli. He was pulled under by a strong currant Guy walks in to a chemist and says to the assistant... "Can I have a deodorant please Assistant asks.. "Ball or aerosol" Guy says.."It's for under my arms actually" A bride on her wedding night says to her husband, "I must confess, darling, I used to be a hooker." He says, "That's alright, dear. Your past is your past but, I admit, I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it." She replies, "Well, my name was Nigel and I played for Wigan." If you're an Audi owner. Move your seat forward. That will ensure that you're even closer to the car in front. Lying in bed facing the wife, I looked into her eyes and said, ''Looking at your face reminds me of the lottery''..... She replied, ''You mean I am worth millions''..... I said, ''No, I wish you'd roll over'' I like to scare my wife while she's folding her laundry. Well, Its the only way I can get her to drop her knickers these days. My lady isn’t happy with me this frosty morning, she just told me she’s going out to scrape the car. “Against what” was not the right reply. A few months ago my wife said to me that she would divorce me if I didn't give up drinking. It was a struggle at first, but I've mastered ironing in the end. After months of agonising, I had to put my dad in a care home After a few weeks I gave the home a ring to find out how he was The nurse told me "Well I'm afraid he is a bit like a fish out of water" "What, having trouble settling in is he"? I asked "No,he's dead"! she replied. My grandad was a World War Two veteran, in just one day, during the Battle Of Britain he destroyed eight German aircraft, killing thirty-two Nazi aviators. Easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had. Job Interviewer, "What would you consider your greatest strength?" Me, "I perform under pressure." Interviewer' "Can you give me an example?" Me, *deep breath* Mm ba ba de, Um ba ba de, Um bu bu bum da de, Pressure, pushing down on me,

I did hear most are actually "Southpaws" & "Lead" - with the left!!

An Angling Icon who will be sadly missed. Sleep well John, you did more than your bit

Here's 4 for Sunday, Balinlina Boy 12:35 Navan Flashing Glance 2:55 Sandown Misty Milly 3:15 Navan Pete The Feat 3:25 Sandown Or Maybe not??

500% chesters - Charity begins at home!! Swimming lessons back, could be an option!!

Thanks John, they weren't of any use to me anymore on commercials & most belonged to my Late Dad who passed some 34 years ago. They needed to be re loved & used.

Martin !!?? I though you called him a Fat, Blonde OPOSSUM - whew - that was close Phone He could probably be Anything you want him to be!! Old Etonians aren't all that fussy I'm told.

Bet you had to copy & paste that John (Emoji looks a bit suspect, bearing in mind the subject matter!!) I only sold you a few floats!!

Well cory, there's now't like a bit of Santana - & that was now't like a bit of Santana!! Not bad skills in all fairness though. This is ....... https://youtu.be/95kCv10duFw?t=66

Including the Fat, Blonde, Outspoken, Holier than thou, Bicycling to & from parliament types.??

Was the Electric Violinist someone else then, or is that what you meant??

It's been quite a long time since I had a bet in a shop, I do my bets online these days - & sometimes go to the track (that's Course in the UK) Martin, I'll go with you. although I prefer to see and hear the power of the animal and don't think I could place a bet in a "shop". I will say this at the track it is the sport of Kings. I love watching even without betting. Ohh, maybe the favorite to show. Phone York & Doncaster being my Fav' ones, though I have been to many others.

Posting photo's can be a problem IF the file is too big. Guessing there in your "My Pictures" on your computer?? If so try this .... Right click on the pic' & select "Open With" then click "Microsoft office picture Manager" then click Edit pictures on the top tool bar. Then select documents (2nd one down in the bullet list) Then click "Compress" Then save. The file will then be small enough to post on here without discernable loss of quality. Good Luck, & will talk you through it again if I've got the sequence wrong or missed a step?? Dead easy when you've done it a time or 3 lol.

Size is Palm of hand, Bleeps when buttons are pressed + has a low battery warning. That's the type I'm after Martin, will look into it, Thanks John. Keep pressing the unit button & when in Imperial, moves from Lb's & oz's to Ounces only if required. The JIN, middle option?? (Lock icon appears top of screen) seems to stop at the optimum weight. (Just noticed that - looks useful) That's what it did when I pulled on the hook in that mode then let go!!

Cory, the handicapper is looking at the results so therefore weight is added in the saddle cloth based on performance in order to even out it's future chances. Horse racing is so complex, weight for age & sex being just one (or is that 2??) - I could go on forever!! Not to mention "Twisting Trainers". I was once a part owner of 3 or 4 Horses!!

The odds Phone are based on the bookies liabilities on a given event. I like to make my selections based on decent past form rather than recent, hence getting a bigger price (odds) The betting market is based on many variants - Trainers who can "Get one Ready" (at big odds) & Trainers who have the best horses. Yes for certain - racing is fixed at times, but that's OK as long as one is on the right side of the fix!! It's very complicated.