Scapanapper

Do you people live in SOWETO or Bagdahd???? Does this stuff happen in residential areas of Britain or are you talking about some no go areas???? Naively Scapa

20th April for me and also for Adolf Hitler I notice that so far Adolf and I are alone on AN Cheers Scapa

What do you mean maybe Scapanapper? do you want to see my discharge book??Seriously though I try to forget all those days and nights of hanging on for grim death and wondering what I was doing there Shiver me lap top Scapa.

I'm going to the Trenton area in a few weeks, I had better take me wellies I was hoping to do a bit of fishing but it looks like the fish will come to me

Hey, it's fun being a fish if you manage to avoid those nasty two legged beasts

Be careful it might go off in your hand

Here in the Peoples Republic of Orkney, we get a public holiday on Dounby Show Day a far more auspicious date

Dead folk as dinner guests won't be much company but at least you get larger portions

It doesn't matter what mealy mouthed title CPB is given after she marries Charles and after he becomes King. To the rest of the World she will be "The Queen of ENGERLUND" If the UK Monarch has no executive power then his/her partner has even less so what is all the hot air about? I think we should have a president like the Irish ie. a good looking bird to meet visiting dignitories off the train and take them to lunch.

Is this the coin the Chancellor is going to use to pay for the Queen Mum's memorial??

But what about the naked pole dancer??? Now I know I am hallucinating

So which of the four lasses walking away is Elton's Pride and which one is Joy???

Am I hallucinating? I can now see seven people :confused:

Yea I can see five as well plus the dead dog

I was going to go to the Psychic's convention but it was cancelled, due to unforeseen circumstances

A woman walked in to a bar and asked for a double entendre, so the bar man gave her one. :confused:

This week I will mostly be listening to:- VHF marine band channel 16 and 11. (At work )

Why Men are Just Happier People What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood -- all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 45 minutes. No wonder men are happier ! Scapa

I'm an Australian cattle dog A bonza G'day to all you old cows and bulls out there! Scapa

Of course or it would leave a Poodle on the floor and then we would have to Whippet

To Quote Jeremy Hardy on todays' edition of BBC radio 4's News Quiz. "You can kill a burglar in your home but you can't carry his head around the streets on a stick as a warning to others" This seems clear to me!

Is that dog one of those Spinner Spaniels :confused:

Is it a cetacean?

Is that like a nun????

That's some chicken