Alan Fawcett

isn't that what Ali G sells outside his local corner shop??

its the bloke taking the picture, he's doing it to prove they don't need all the other managers and they should all be sacked, he on the other hand is needed and should be given a pay rise and as he's just saved the company thousands by proving they don't need all the other managers the company can now afford it

its amazing what you can buy in walmart init.................................. ok ok aunty Jan put unca Newts shotgun down now....whoa what the...why are you pointing it at me with that evil grin on your face? eh whats that? what do you mean you need some more chum for the morning? what? you want me to say what?.........erm ok i'll say it, just point the gun over there. Jan is the greatest lure angler in the united states, she was, is and always will be the greatest angler to have sailed on Lake mishgun. there will that do? damn nutty wimmin.........eh what? no i didn't say anything aunty jan......honest

Oh come on!!! The reason little garfy warfy go's to his "pretend to fight" classes is cos he's to much of a wimp to face a real fight and real life and we all know it, if he isn't chucking humungous leads across everyone elses swims looking for a dumb as5 cr...er carp then he's at home playing street fighter on the nintendo dreaming of being one of the "fighters" so he can get his own back on all those bullies who used to pick on him when he was a likkle boy in his shorts n blazer or nick his teddy when they went on a school activities holiday.

when i was researching my family history and getting married in Scotland we were driving back to Embo from Gretna Green at 3am when Dian saw a wolf at the side of the A9, before i could say "don't use the fl....." she had snatched the camera up and fired it off trying to get a pic of the wolf.............i was now very blind and very "upset"............with every other word being....stupid....f'ing or cow. great start to our second day of marriage but hey she wanted a pic of the wolf......unfortunetly it didn't turn out cos the flash blinded the camera when it reflected on the windscreen....so she nearly killed us all just for a white photo!!!

i hate it when people start a thread and then delete the post so it just leaves an empty thread. Figured it was here so someone should post on it, then again i'm amazed the mods haven't deleted it as its serving no purpose.

Dunno about the army but smeg on the fairs meant male reproductive fluids BTW sandpiper.........did you serve in the army then and did you ever win the soggy biscuit??

Del, i've done time in hmp and private nicks if i can help i will but don't be expecting me to tell you how we made hooch or a kettle

yeah right and as if i'm gonna tell you about my fishnet tights and black gloving leather thigh length boots just so you can blackmail me!! Newt..........dunna feel slighted mate.........if you get any slighter we won't be able to see you........................PS for xmas can i please have............g'wan admit it you're santa ain'tcha...........i always wondered what you did for the rest of the year and now we all know....you hang around in dodgy jacuzzi's in norf carolina scaring the hell out of the wildlife

OI you lot pack it in picking on sam. i'm supposed to be the hated one on here (with chesters a close second) so leave the guy alone............................................ nah sod it carry on, fire at will.....erm i meant fire at sam....sorry will.... Oh and as for you sam.....leave Newt alone, its my job to have a go at the damned cotton picking, redneck, inbred arkansas hillbilly pig dog. Norrie....you haggis munching, sporan wearing, wallis wannabe, sasanach, i can throw as much as i like at you cos you ain't got jack (or is it jock?) on me fella.

Is that of vomit or off vomit just asking because i can't understand how the content off this post can resemble that off vomit. Now if it was of vomit i could understand it. Oh and of course Newts a sad man....he don't live over here in the greatest country on earth.

i wonder if she has considerd that her brother could have been having an epileptic fit or siezure...then again he could have been smacked out of his head on heroin!! hmmmm yet again.....SHE could have been the one on drugs and just imagined it all.

nah its a young sean connery

It must have been horrorfying for those poor kids, i can't even start to grasp the fear they must have felt or the sorrow and heart ache their parents must be feeling now. That was in wolverhampton and Lisa potts risked her own life to save the children he was trying to kill and now i have to smile at this man as they let him out to have his stroll around the town on his own unsupervised. I've seen the way he looks at people, i've had him threaten to kill my wife and kids YET when i complain i'm told he's just making idol threats, trying to scare me because he has a problem with people in a posistion authority!!!!

Thats a blatent lie, i didn't say i was going to endorse anything........................................ oops sorry i thought you said top named crapper

The night club i was working at had massive fight break out one night (to many steriods and alcohol), we tried to break it up but there was just to many involved, Mick one of the guys i was working with started shouting something but because the DJ had kept the lights off and the music blaring i couldn't hear him, after I had thrown a bottle at the idiot dj to get him to turn the music off and the lights on (he was later fired) i realised Mick was on the floor covering a woman to try and protect her from the idiots that were fighting, he had seen her trying to get off the dance floor and watched helpless as she had gone down then saw the table thrown across the dance floor land on top of her. When the fighting first started we called the police, it took them 35 minutes to get there, this was after i had been on hold for 10 minutes (yes that was on a 999 call as well so 45 mins in total), the ambulance arrived for the woman (who we were later told had a fractured spine) an hour later because they weren't from that area and their satnav had gone down, Mick was treated for 3 broken fingers and a fractured wrist which he had sustained trying to keep people away from the woman, when we showed them the digital cctv footage they told us we could burn a copy off but it wouldn't be addmisable as evidence as it wasn't from an "offcial" source..........IE it wasn't from a council/police cctv camera. The police station in that town had been closed 2 weeks before because there was no call for it, the police had to come from a town 17 miles away as they were the nearest able to respond, when i told them i was going to complain because it had taken so long they told me they had only been 10 minutes!! so i showed them what time i had made the call using my mobiles call log..........the copper i was talking to called his sargent over and she went mental about the time difference from me making the call to them being told to respond, she took my name address ect and did the same with a few others and promised me she would look into it and get back to me...............i never thought to get her collar number which is a shame because i've never heard anything since. I've had holidays courtesy of the queen, i've spent many a night in the cells as well BUT i still don't hate the police they are just doing a job and to be honest i feel sorry for them these days because they aren't being allowed to do it properly due to all the PC/do gooders who can't understand that to make the law work you have to tread on a few toes every now n then and ride rough shod over a couple of rules. My local area is known as death row because the only way you get off it is to die or try and sell your home, as soon as people find out what the area is really like they don't want to move here. I have friends in the police force who are becoming more and more confused they can't understand why they should go out and arrest someone just for them to be let off when they go to court, because they are an alcholic/drug addict/ care in the community patient/misunderstood youth or come from a broken family. Its about time we had someone in power who is strong and sure enough to say enough is enough lets get the respect back, lets get the fear of police/prison back, lets show those who think they can do what they want that they can't, lets forget about trying to be a world sherriff and get our own house in order first. Why should an old soldier or his wife have to live in fear of going out because those they fought/suffered/died for are terrorising them, why should parents be to afraid to let their kids play outside just incase a gun is fired or a peadophile might be living in the next street. Why should the people who have paid/do pay their taxes and work hard feel as if they're prisoners in their own homes, why should anyone who fights back be the ones who face prosecution. Its about time this country had leaders who are willing to say "stuff what the rest of the world says we have to do......this our country and we'll run it how it should be run not the way they tell us to run it" As my signature says, a government should remember it is there to serve its people not rule them. Now be careful here because when i saw all this coming i posted about it, i posted about the way this country was going to go to the dogs because this government is full of liars and cowards who aren't willing to make a stance against european laws, the do gooders and the PC brigade......... my posts were quoted and the single word pathetic was put underneath the quote, when i asked why it was pathetic no reply was made, i wonder if any of those who called/thought me pathetic are now thinking maybe just maybe ol' troggy was right? i doubt it but its nice to think they might be Reet i'm going to go now and pop back later to see my post disected and ripped to shreds because i know its extreme and others will hate it and disagree all the way, i make no apologies for that BUT it is my opinion and i stand by it

cripes i remember that from when i were a lad, wassisnames arm up a cows backside reet upto the elbow. Then he'd pull it out (his arm that is!!), sit down and have a cuppa tea n a slice of jam cake.......or was that worzil gummage?? my memory ain't what it used to be LOL.

hope a sparrow don't mistake something for a maggot

so why is it everytime an angler has been voted for and the votes have been higher than other sports persons they pull the plug and make an excuse? Why was i told by a member of staff at the BBC "sorry but we can't be seen to be promoting a bloodsport"?? Maybe not all staff at aunty HQ are anti's but their bosses are, either that or they're afraid of upsetting all those lovely animal rights fanatics.............maybe thats it.......they don't mind having people from peta on their chat/news/currant affairs programmes or reporting about some poor sod who's had a bomb sent to them by the anti's but they are to scared of having angling on their channel just incase it happens to them. I don't watch the BBC or listen to any of their boring radio stations yet i'm forced to pay them a licence fee. Sorry Paul but as you can probably tell there is no love lost between me and the BBC.

Now you're just talking daft Budgie me ol mate, you should at least order a full set for the rod pod, rods, reels and bivvy, cooker, plates, mugs and the pans. I wonder if they do stainless steel look decals for Gaffer??

according to my ex-wife........its me..........oops nope sorry according to her i'm a feckin barstard. sheesh nearly knocked myself down a level then.......it took 8yrs of marriage to get to that level so i don't want to go knocking myself down any

my rods have gt names on Peter............zebco, diawa and i've even got one that says shindamo or summat like that, i think its a bit of cheapo asian rubbish, i've been told the same company make damned good bike gears though.

this kind of thing has been tried before on sports peronality of the year, bob nudd was the winner but according to the beeb he had to be disqualified as they suspected his votes of being "fixed" somehow. The beeb are total anti's, over on MD's we've been writing letters, emails and posting on their forums/message boards for a while now and not a single "non-automated" reply has been recieved.

Tel Excellent story mucker oh and as for the likkle cut you've got, nice wet bog roll soaked in aftershave and some insulation tape to hold it in place. heals anyfing, always worked for me when i was working with the showmen anyway

Click here so what do you reckon caused it? tail gateing, driving to fast to close, flashing his lights and sticking up a finger?