Do we not have an Ashes thread?

[chevin]

*Anthony*:

 

Where are all the Aussie pundits that were predicting a 5-0 white-wash at the start of the summer?    

Well what ever a couple of posters here might like to believe, there was never one on this site. Though the two in question seemed to think that England was going to thrash the Aussies in the same manner.

[chevin]

Steve Burke:

They're saying "Barmy, army! Barmy army!"  This is the name of a group of England fans.

Hmm, I suspected that but it just didn't sound quite right. When I had my station kiosk members of the Barmy Army used to go through the station on their way to the cricket when England was playing Oz in Perth and we used to hurl abuse at each other as they passed - much to the alarm of other customers on occasions. However, when they weren't in any particular hurry they would come and buy a cup of coffee/tea and we'd have a chat that involved a lot of good humoured p!ss taking. I used to look forward to them hitting town. They were a nice bunch of guys who enjoyed good cricket no matter who won.

[chevin]

I wonder if anything will come of the exchange of words between Bucknor and Ponting over the LBW decision on Martyn. I think that it is more than likely that Ponting will be penalised in some way, but if he is, surely some action must be taken against Bucknor for such a dreadful decision? Oz have had a few LBW decisions go against them, but none worse than that one. We should be able to expect better from the senior umpire on the set!

[*Ant*]

chevin:

 

chevin:

 

Where are all the Aussie pundits that were predicting a 5-0 white-wash at the start of the summer?    

[terryk]

Steve Burke:

Ian, you must be one of the biggest pessimists in the UK!

Have to agree with that point. Despite the condition of either team, when the record books show that England won the Ashes series in 2005 (thats optimism for you!), they'll be no comments that the England side were the best that the selectors could muster at the time, and that we played an under-par Aussie team. On the face of it, we're 3/5 of the way into the Series and England are not behind. Lets look forward and get behind the lads.

[northern mark]

After watching two good teams play a good match I think a draw is probably a good result.

 

The captains innings still seems to be a very big influence on the England side, if he scores well the team does well

 

Flintoff - I feel is over rated as a player but he does seem to be able to get the team going when it matters

 

We still need to sort the fielding out, dropping catching through the hands is not good enough if you are a world class player.

 

Bring on the next test

[Wordbender]

THOSE GOLDEN SLEDGES

 

Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words "So how's your wife & my kids?"

 

Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

 

Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

 

James Ormond: Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh....... MW : "Well, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England." Ormond: "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family"

 

Mark Waugh: Standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Oh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were crap then, and you're useless now". Parore (turning around) "Yeah, that's me and when I was there you were going out with some old, ugly slut and now I hear you've married her!".

 

Ian Healy: Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

 

Ravi Shastri v Aussie 12th man: Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single. The 12th. man gets the ball in and says "If you leave the crease I'll break your head." Shastri replies, "And if you could play cricket as well as you can talk - you wouldn't be the 12th man."

 

Fred Trueman: Fred was bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together”, he said. Fred replied "So should your mother."

[awaaar]

another one..

 

Glenn McGrath v Eddo Brandes

McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball.

 

McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?"

 

Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I *%&$ your wife, she gives me a biscuit."

[UK-Fishing-Tackle.co.uk]

Sorry everyone! I'll try and be more positive!

[chevin]

Years ago when Viv Richards was playing county cricket in England a young fast bowler had sent down several fast deliveries which Viv had ignored. Frustrated he went up to Viv and said, "It's red, about 3" in diameter and weighes five and a half ounces". Viv smacked the next ball right out of the ground and went up to the bowler and said, "You know what it looks like son, you go and look for it!".

 

[ 17. August 2005, 04:58 AM: Message edited by: chevin ]