Question. To smack children (or not)

[little onions]

Severus, so you condone respecting 'sadistic s.o.b's' posing as educators?????

[kendo]

only when theres nowt on the tele

[kleinboet]

Sorry little Onions I am afraid I must disagree with your methods. I quote "If they behave I might buy them CHOCOLATE for them to have" that, I'm afraid is bribery, and the child will soon learn to play up so they can be "bribed" again.

I know it sounds barbaric, but ONE smack on the top of the legs or the bum will show them that playing up DOESN'T PAY!

[little onions]

Sorry, Kleinboet, I forgot to add that I would have taken time to explain, once the calming technique had worked, that "Please may I have some chocolate, Mammy," would be a much better way of asking for what they want.

It's more an example of rewarding good behaviour and ignoring/making less of a spectacle of bad behaviour than bribery, I feel. It worked for my family on all sorts of occasions, but it does take a lot of patience.

I continue to be bemused by parents who appear to be in an awful hurry for their offspring to speak and then spend the next couple of years asking them to 'shut up'!

[kleinboet]

Little onions - I am now a grandparent and hopefully soon to be a great-grandparent. I have tried the 'I will never hit my kids' routine but it just does NOT work. The children HAVE to learn so far and no further. You are the PARENT they are the CHILDREN, they are not a colleague that you can quietly discuss with. A child just does not have the attention span. I do NOT approve of 'HIDINGS' but one short sharp shock does make them realise that they should listen to their parents. By the way you didn't answer my critism of bribery. Remember, a child will possibly say please for the chocolate, but you have already shown the child that you are bribable. If you say no to the request for the chocolate than the child will brand you a liar.

[Paul_D]

Had a bit of a 'do' with my little 'un tonight (2 years old in August), her older sister was playing with some bubbles so mini-sprog decides she wants them and throws a mega tantrum when I intervened. Now I'm quite protecive of Laura, my oldest, as she's a very gentle child so I tried a new approach today. I picked up Katie and placed her in the living room, effectively isolating her from the family,(the rest of us were in the Kitchen) to carry on with her screaming. She wasn't happy at this at all and tried to come back into the kitchen, still screaming, a couple of times only to be removed. It did the trick and I'll probably not forget the sight of her raising her arms to me wanting to be picked up for a long while and settling down immediately when I did. I'm a long way off ever physicaly harming my Children but I would like to have the right to and be able to should I ever need it.

[nursejudy]

Good for you

What you are doing is the method i used with my son,Its called Time Out I think,explain what you are doing and carry it out,remove them to another roonm or bedroom,sometimes give a time 5mins or 10 but you have to stick to it.

judy

 

Ps just cutting out E numbers from their diet helps alot,especially that horrid SUNNY D drink ,just read whats in it,not much fruit juice,all adatives,the shops keep it in the fridges but to kid us its fruit juice!!!!!!!!

 

[ 24. June 2004, 11:00 PM: Message edited by: nursejudy ]

[severus]

little onions:

quote:

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Severus, so you condone respecting 'sadistic s.o.b's' posing as educators?????

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Not really. But I do believe there is a time and place for corporal punishment. I presume you disagree?

[corydoras]

kleinboet:

...'I will never hit my kids' routine but it just does NOT work...

How come it works in Sweden then?

[little onions]

Kleinboet, I believe I did respond to your criticism of bribery. I also said I might buy some chocolate, not that I definitely would.

I too have found the time out technique to be effective.

My children's ages are 28, 26, 24, 15, 14 and 7, I also have a 6 year old grandson. They are all polite and respectful and have always been aware of their boundaries and who is the parent and who is the child.

We're all different, aren't we? The fact that I cannot condone smacking is a personal decision. It was not my intention to come across as judgemental. Apologies if I did.