Question. To smack children (or not)

[Chris Goddard]

I was smacked as a child. In fact I was treated appallingly!! My mate once wanted to ring the POLICE when my dad smacked me at 16 years old for smoking!! But I'll tell you what!! I would do exactly the same and have done so to both of my daughters. I'm not proud of it, but in my opinion it's not a thing to be proud of or otherwise!! It's personal thing!! And if I feel the need to smack/chastise my children then no namby pamby liberal tosser is going to tell me different!! I will do whatever I feel is right to instill whatever I feel is the correct way to bring up my children.

My Children are now BOTH very level headed individuals, the eldest Helen is in fact at 24 years due TODAY!!!! to give birth to my first Grandchild. She didn't then and still does not agree with just Smacking Children. She is a Nursery Nurse and has learned different ways to cope with children who DO misbehave!! And she tells me she WILL use those ways and means to instill the kind of values she feels are appropriate in her children. I applaud that!! She will however if she feels the need smack the child! That is her choice, she is ultimately responsible for the care and upbringing of that child and I as a grandparent will do all I can to help in that process.

Now I KNOW people will disagree!! Had I been my Grandma as I am the granparent, my grandma would have smacked me wothout any reference to my mother!! That was the way it was done!! And I do not think that I am any worse off for having been smacked,beaten whatever you wish to call it!! It taught me that there was a line you did NOT cross!! I still did cross the line occasionally?! But knew exactly what to expect if I did!! My youngest daughter was also smacked, BUT she realised very early on that not to get caught was the best way of doing things!! So invariably she was not smacked as much as Helen!! But she was also a better behaved and more forward thinking child!! She is now at University. This is because she very quickly realised that the top jobs are being taken up by people who can tell you the square root of a jam jar but cannot take off the lid!! In my opinion kids who were allowed to get away with murder when younger!! They never had to think on their feet!! Whatever they wanted to do they were allowed to do it!! And that in my humble opinion has turned thenm into the kind of week kneed lily livered screaming Liberals that we see now!!

If the lines are NOT drawn early in a childs life then how on earth are they supposed to find their way at all?? It's a harsh world out there and my two are more than able to hold their own against anyone!! They make up their OWN minds about things and I think that is because they know right from wrong EMPHATICALLY!!!

There are other ways and means of acheiving the end result! But look at the statistics!! How many old ladies were mugged when the birch was the norm?? Not Ruddy many!! That is smacking children taken to the N'th degree for me!! And the sooner someone starts to realise this the better for ALL concerned!!

 

Chris

[corydoras]

Cranfield:

 

Already you have little scrotes at Schools, telling the Teachers, "you can,t touch me" etc. etc. :mad:

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Well I blame teachers for that. Teachers need to be able to command respect. When I was at school in Scotland our teachers had the tawse if they felt the need to administer corporal punishment. The best teachers never used theirs.

[Mat Hillman]

I don't do it very often, but yes I have smacked my older child (4) it is however the punishment that is reserved for the most serious offences, the last time was for spitting at his mum! (Don't they pick up lovely things when they start nursery)

 

More often than not the threat is enough to bring him into line!

 

My Younger kid is too young to really understand yet, at 14 months the worst he gets is a very stern NOO! and taken away from whatever he is doing wrong!

[bitsbobs]

I think that smacking a child between the ages of 4 to 10 or there abouts provides good discipline, but only on the grounds of serious misbehaviour.

 

Basically, after a few times, the sight of the cane or the slipper coming off should be enough to make them stop.

 

From 10 years+ kids should have priveliges taken away from them instead but the parents should stick to the rules. That's where mine went wrong. If I was grounded for a week I'd be let off after a day.

 

I think I tried all the tricks in the book regarding 'getting away with it' and probably did most of the time. My kids better think twice when trying to pull the wool over my eyes. Afterall, you can't kid a kidder!!!

[corydoras]

Hi Chris. Congratulations in advance on becoming a Grandfather. I agree with you, but only up to a point. For example when is it to early to smack ones child? Three months is obviously a bit tender, so is six months OK or should one wait until 9 months? Obviuosly now that both your girls are young adults you don't smack them anymore, so at what age did they become 'to old' for a smack

 

On the whole I regret most of the occassions that I smacked my kids, and wish that I had found a better way to punish them.

[corydoras]

bitsbobs:

 

...sight of the cane or the slipper coming off should be enough to make them stop.

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Sorry mate you have lost me now. A smack with tha hand is one thing. A smack with any implement is common assault and should be treated as such. (IMHO)

[Lid]

I don't remember being smacked much as a child, although I was a couple of times I think. The one time I do remember, I had not actually done the thing I was accused of doing at all.

 

I remember a teacher trying to hit me once when I was 11 as I had a tendency to show off and be disruptive. I ducked and he hit the wall - hard. The headmaster of the same school once picked me off a chair I was standing on (legitimately) and threw me out the classroom door. In this case he had misheard me and lost his rag. Not very clever really.

 

My dad was a secondary school teacher and when the laws changed about teachers hitting pupils, he was suspended and nearly lost his job for smacking a young delinquent who had just beaten up a much smaller girl in he playground. He got off because the union's solicitors obtained a psychological report on the child. He then resigned!

 

Do I smack my 8 year old child? Not really. I have no idea how to gauge it so I don't injure her and if she is playing up due to allergies, a smack just makes her skin come up badly.

 

I have given her some smacks from time to time, but they don't work. In truth she knows she is not smacked properly and so uses this to her advantage. At the end of the day, I find other ways to punish her and feel much better for it.

 

[ 21. June 2004, 08:51 PM: Message edited by: Lid ]

[kleinboet]

Right - touchy subject, so I'll wear me tin hat.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!! That is the thing that needs to be taught. We have kids playing ball, bouncing the ball off your wall. Woe betide you telling them to stop - you'll be told to effing well mind your own business or I'll tell my mum you hit me. Their mums tell them to play outside, "but not outside my house".

When ALL kids reach a certain age they start to experiment how far the can get away with defying your authority before being pulled up. Now comes the problem, a few smacks usually teaches a child that they must listen to their parents, but then it must stop. BUT THE THREAT MUST REMAIN!! It becomes a problem when you have a little scrote (usually in a busy shop) screaming that he wants a chocolate, that he won't sit in the pushchair etc. etc. the mother, very embarassed, usually leaves as soon as possible.

When I was young, the mother would normally smack the child once on the bum and no more problems. In extreme examples, a stranger would tell the child to keep quiet and, boy!, did that child listen!

Unfortunately these are now totally illegal, and kids grow up with no respect.

Don't get me wrong, I am NOT advocating thrashing, what I am advocating is that parents have the authority (Bad word!!) to threaten, and thereby instil respect in your kids.

[chesters1]

smacking is so yesterday

fag burns on the eyelids or cocktail sticks under the fingernails is much more pc

[bitsbobs]

corydoras:

Sorry mate you have lost me now. A smack with tha hand is one thing. A smack with any implement is common assault and should be treated as such. (IMHO)

I respect your opinion but it's how I was raised and I personally think I've turned out ok. Afterall, I'm probably one of few people that still says please and thank you and opens doors for my elders etc.