DEAR MR CAMERON

[big_cod]

Dear Mr. Cameron,

 

 

Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.

 

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the

money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

 

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

 

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

 

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the

following stipulations:

 

1) They MUST retire.

 

 

 

Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

 

 

2) They MUST buy a new British car.

 

Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

 

 

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -

 

Housing Crisis fixed

 

4) They MUST send their kids toschool/college/university -

 

Crime rate fixed

 

 

 

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....

 

and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

 

 

6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme

that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to

reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them

down.

 

It can't get any easier than that!

 

 

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back

their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

 

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing

home.

 

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and

walks.

 

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical

treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying

it out.

 

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped

instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

 

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed

and returned to them.

 

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and

snacks to their cell.

 

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

 

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual

counselling, pool and education.

 

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on

request.

 

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with

gardens.

 

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

 

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards

would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

 

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.

Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and

pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

 

Think about this (more points of contention):

 

 

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COWS

 

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the

mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in

Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in

the county of Cumbria?

 

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are

unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our

country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

 

 

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THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a

Constitution for Iraq .... Why don't we just give them ours?

 

It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for

centuries and we're not using it anymore.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

 

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a

courthouse or Parliament, is this -

 

You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit

Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers,

judges and politicians..... It creates a hostile work environment.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Also;

 

Think about this .... If you don't want to forward this for fear of

offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us

grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!

 

PAUL.

Edited May 1, 2011 by big_cod

[Colin Brett]

Of course this should have been sent to a Mr Bliar [in particular] and a Mr Brown first! Perhaps "call me Dave" needn't have had a copy then? :rolleyes:

Edited May 1, 2011 by Colin Brett

[Sportsman]

lat tien I saw this it wa American, and most of it still is

[corydoras]

What a load of old tosh, especially these two bits;

THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a

Constitution for Iraq .... Why don't we just give them ours?

 

It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for

centuries and we're not using it anymore.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

 

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a

courthouse or Parliament, is this -

 

You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit

Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers,

judges and politicians..... It creates a hostile work environment.

[Sportsman]

Having said that I am all for the bit about giving over 50s a million each. I would come back to the UK for that

[corydoras]

Having said that I am all for the bit about giving over 50s a million each. I would come back to the UK for that

As of yesterday I'd have to agree with you.

[Newt]

The basic plan seems to make pretty good sense. The only major flaw - it is too simple for politicians to appreciate.

[flapper]

The basic plan seems to make pretty good sense. The only major flaw - it is too simple for politicians to appreciate.

Yes but it would be a bureaucratic dream. Imagine the jobs it would create in the public sector. Big Cod for chancellor.

Flapper.