Cows

[Spindle]

Cows.

 

I hate them.

 

I think... no, I know they hate me.

 

And I'm terrified of them. Cows, bulls, men in a cow suit. Whatever. They stand between me and good fishing. And they know it!

 

I'll give you a situation. I joined MKAA specifically to fish for the barbel. I turned up one night after work, pulled into the car park. There were two gates, one each side of the path, one to a field heading downstreamm, the other upstream.

 

On the other side of one of the gates were about 20 cows (or bullocks/bulls - I didn't think to ask them what they were - I have a feeling they were male actually). The other field (through the other gate) was clear, so I went that way (even though I really wanted to go the other way). When I packed up fishing I wandered back - guess what - the cows had opened the gate (by themselves, I've no doubt), wandered across the path, carefully closing the gate behind them. Opened the other gate, wandered through, closed the gate. Then they just stood there. By the gate. Looking mean.

 

So what did I do? I went back on myself, did a big detour round the whole of the field, and found another exit at the top of the field. I then had to wander about a quarter of a mile along the road with all my gear.

 

This is not funny chaps. Not funny at all. Are cows dangerous? Could I have walked through them all without getting hurt? I'm sure some of you will know the answer... help!!!

 

Oh... and I never did fish there again!

[Peter M]

spindle, i think you need to seek professional help.

[Nugg]

Spindle old mate, Cows are very curious, but will be more afraid of you than you are of them, next time you come across them take a deep breath and walk straight through them, and watch them scatter out of your way, give afew grunts and groans as you go if you like. Cows are just big pussy cats.

[RUDD]

There is one COW that restricts my time on the bank.

 

My Wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Carry On Waggling

[Spindle]

Ah... so Peter thinks I need help and Nugg things cows are cats... er....

 

Seriously, they scare the b'jeezus out of me, and besides, I've got two cats and they are quite scary too!

 

Is that true Nugg? I mean I'm not likely to wander into a field with a single Bull with a bad temper, but would a crowd of cows, male or female, scatter?

[Spindle]

RUDD:

There is one COW that restricts my time on the bank.

My Wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh pull the udder one...

[Nugg]

Cows and bullocks yes, now bulls can be a different proposition, can you tell the difference? The farmer is unlikely to put a bull into a field to which the public have access, and although they are also curious,.its unlikely that he would do you harm unless he thought you were a threat to his harem, so keep your zipper done up tight, don't try and compete.

[Peter Waller]

Just a word of warning, if a cow doesn't have an udder, well, brace yourself!

[Nugg]

Peter Waller:

Just a word of warning, if a cow doesn't have an udder, well, brace yourself!

Or if you can see two hanging down the back.

[Newt]

spindle - those guys are trying to get you seriously hurt.

 

The truth is, cows (male, female, neutral, all) are sneaky. When people are watching, they only eat grass & hay & such.

 

But - when no one is watching, they enjoy a treat of meat. And people are high on their list. But with those great, huge, flat grinding teeth, they can consume all of a person including bones so the only remaining evidence is the occasional button left lying in the grass.

 

So if you must go among the cows to reach fishing, be sure to carry a gun and be ready to shoot if one begins to move toward you or to give out with that feeding sound they make - a sort of Moooooooo sound. Bone chilling and indicates they are ready to feast on your flesh.