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Herd of cows (groaner)

Newt

By Newt
in Non-Fishing Chat

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Newt Member

Newt

Posted
Posted

A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be macho, so he went out walking with one of the hired hands.

 

As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to begin a conversation, "Say, look at that big bunch of cows."

 

The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' but 'herd.'"

 

"Heard what?"

 

"Herd of cows."

 

"Sure, I've heard of cows... there's a big bunch of 'em right over there."

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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Oatmealjack Member

Oatmealjack

Posted
Posted

Newt, a young bull and an old bull come out of the barn and see a herd of heifers at the bottom of the hill. The young bull says lets run down there and knock one up. The old bull says to the young one, lets just walk down there slowly and knock them all up :) Oat

Carp Fishing in the Potomac and Shanandoah River Swims
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Marcel Boogaard Junior Member

Marcel Boogaard

Posted
Posted

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replies, "Hell, I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks." :D

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Newt Member

Newt

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Mad Cow

 

:D:D

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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John Ellison Member

John Ellison

Posted
Posted

Two bulls standing in a field one winters day.

One says to the other "brrr it's cold". "Yeah" says the other, "sod this, I'm going to get into a Jersey". :D:D

I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any fellow - creature, let me do it now, let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

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John S Member

John S

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I feel like closing this thread for the sake of humanity! :rolleyes:

John S

Quanti Canicula Ille In Fenestra

 

Species caught in 2017 Common Ash, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, White Willow.

Species caught in 2016: Alder, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Crab Apple, Left Earlobe, Pedunculate Oak, Rock Whitebeam, Scots Pine, Smooth-leaved Elm, Swan, Wayfaring tree.

Species caught in 2015: Ash, Bird Cherry, Black-Headed Gull, Common Hazel, Common Whitebeam, Elder, Field Maple, Gorse, Puma, Sessile Oak, White Willow.

Species caught in 2014: Big Angry Man's Ear, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Common Whitebeam, Downy Birch, European Beech, European Holly, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, Wych Elm.
Species caught in 2013: Beech, Elder, Hawthorn, Oak, Right Earlobe, Scots Pine.

Species caught in 2012: Ash, Aspen, Beech, Big Nasty Stinging Nettle, Birch, Copper Beech, Grey Willow, Holly, Hazel, Oak, Wasp Nest (that was a really bad day), White Poplar.
Species caught in 2011: Blackthorn, Crab Apple, Elder, Fir, Hawthorn, Horse Chestnut, Oak, Passing Dog, Rowan, Sycamore, Willow.
Species caught in 2010: Ash, Beech, Birch, Elder, Elm, Gorse, Mullberry, Oak, Poplar, Rowan, Sloe, Willow, Yew.

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tj2 Member

tj2

Posted
Posted

A farmer was standing looking over his fields and watching a bull servicing his cattle.

He turned to his buxom milkmaid and said "I'd like to be doing that......."

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"Well they are your cows!" she replied :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

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