Letters to the Editor

[Andrew Boyd]

Letters to the Editor

 

Hats off to the England cricketers for their achievements in the

Ashes this summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC

Sports personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament against a

nation with a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then

never shutting up about it makes me proud to be British. Ben Hunt

 

The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying

ofheart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are

living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I

wish they'd make their minds up. John

 

Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says.

Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30. Colum Hill

 

I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was

amail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal Mail loose

around

2 million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that Iwould

trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the extreme. She

was sent by DHL next day delivery. L Palmer, London

 

The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD

pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make

from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they

stop breaking the law, so will I. P Boddington, Ringway

 

Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just

like to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's

m!nge.

He

hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh? P, Leeds

 

It really annoys me to see these suicide bombers blowing up people as

well as themselves. In my day, suicide was done in a more dignified

way,such as slicing your wrists in the bath, or hanging yourself from a

door with a belt. Paul Mulraney, Belfast

 

On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to reach

the final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to be a

correct answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate Jeremy

Clarkson with?' to which I confidently replied '<unt'. Not only was I

told the answer was incorrect, but I was asked by the holiday rep to

leave the premises immediately. Has anyone else experienced such

appalling treatment whilst holidaying with one's family? Noel, Leeds

 

My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing board

cover as her. Can anyone think of a more mundane and pointless remark

tomake than this? Alun Daniel

 

I'LL never understand my neighbour. He has recently started

wheel-clamping his own caravan when he finds he has inadvertently parked

it in his own drive! I wonder if he is a sadist, a masochist or both.

Alan Thakray

 

I recently bought a fridge freezer from Currys, and after I had paid for

it they asked me for my address to arrange delivery. I told them that I

lived between Gateshead and Hexham, and if they rang me a week next

Tuesday between 8am and 7pm, I night be able to give them a six hour

slot when I would be able to take delivery. When they rang me, I told

them that my house was out of stock and they should ring back on

Saturday. The shoe's on the other foot now, isn't it, Currys? DF Kant

 

Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life of

Brian wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?

 

On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in

Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've

obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road.

Alan J., London

 

I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad is

Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.

Stan

 

What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being the

world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that. Thomas J

[riverside]

Brilliant

[Emz]

[Guest sandpipper]

nout strager than folk, faf

[poledark]

Lovely stuff Andy,

Den

[five bellies]

exerlent

[ayjay]

Loads more of the same here, look under "letterbocks".

 

Top tips are funny too.

[Alan Stubbs]

Loads more of the same here, look under "letterbocks".

 

Top tips are funny too.

 

I gave away my copy of the Profanisaurus because I kept giggling aloud in embarrassing places - like trains, the office, the doctor's...

 

Mind you, I haven't seen a copy of Viz since 19-0-frozen to death.

[BoozleBear]

Class