Vagabonds 12, Frankfurters 0

[Vagabond]

We have all heard stories about the towels spread on the hotel's sun-loungers before breakfast, but Norma and I do not usually patronise such establishments.

 

However, on a recent (returned today) trip to Namibia and Botswana, the houseboat we were meant to live in and fish from had run aground, so we were put up at a riverside lodge pro tem.

 

This lodge normally catered for visiting German Tourists, who travel SW Africa in groups of a dozen (plus guides), in big armoured trucks we christened "Krautwaggenens"

 

One such group arrived the day we did.

 

Breakfast was at 8 am, but we had arranged an early birding walk, followed by an "early" breakfast at 7.30, followed by fishing. (more of that tomorrow, with pics)

 

Tucking into our Full English at 7.30 sharp, we were well into our second helpings of egg, bacon, sausage, mushrooms etc when our Teutonic "partners in Europe" appeared at 7.45, so as (they thought) to be first in the queue.

 

"Der goddampt schweinhund Englanderin das Fruhstuck gegessen, aber die Herrenvolk hungrig ist. Schlecht, Schlecht"

 

Clearly agitated, they prowled around the big communal table, where only our two places were yet laid.

Waiters were laying the other places, but the 8 am breakfasts were still being cooked, so they looked for sustenance in vain.

 

"They look like starving seagulls hovering around a beach picnic " I said to Norma.

 

Just then one of the "seagulls" swooped, reached across me, and attempted (and missed) to snatch a piece of our toast.

 

We both burst out laughing, and thereby made an interesting discovery. THE MASTER RACE DO NOT LIKE BEING LAUGHED AT. They looked most uncomfortable and their leader hastily ushered them away from the table. A complete rout.

 

Now if Chamberlain had known this in 1938......................

Edited February 8, 2011 by Vagabond

[Guest Jan V]

:rolleyes: Anxious to hear of your adventures and see pictures, Dave. Our best to Norma.

[Newt]

And WELL DONE to you both for the Kraut Rout.

 

note: yes, I know it is not a PC comment and will be considered rude by some/many/most. So sue me.

[Huge_Vitae]

And WELL DONE to you both for the Kraut Rout.

 

note: yes, I know it is not a PC comment and will be considered rude by some/many/most. So sue me.

You will get away with it this time only..........

 

Good shot vagabond, I have posted this before, not sure if its based on fact but makes me chuckle evrytime.........

 

In the 1950's German Air Traffic controllers (ATC) were well known for their less than helpful attitude towards American and British Pilots (amongst others I presume!!!)

 

An American Plane bound for Cologne had been clearance to land and ordered to gate 7.

 

Off the runway and on the taxi way the aircraft came to a total stop.

 

Following transcript...

 

Speedbird 205, this is Cologne ATC why have you stopped on the taxi way when you were told to proceed to gate 7

 

Cologne ATC, from speedbird 205, I am unsure of the location of gate 7 and have stopped to check my airport documentation.

 

(Rather Irate german voice) Speedbird 205 this is cologne ATC, what is the matter with you why can you not follow simple instructions, proceed to gate 7 immediately, have you not visited Cologne before.

 

(rather cool voice) Cologne ATC from speedbird 205, yes Sir, visited you four times in 1944 in a B25(Bomber), unfortunately it was dark at the time and we didn't land...................

 

or another more recent case...........

 

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

 

Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

 

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

 

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"

 

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

 

I looked at the first story closely after I heard it, I discovered that 'speedbird' was a callsign used by British Airways Aircraft at the time, so it could be that it is a fabrication or has been altered through time, still funny though.

[chevin]

We have all heard stories about the towels spread on the hotel's sun-loungers before breakfast, but Norma and I do not usually patronise such establishments.

 

Yeah I have come across a bit of that in my travels too. They really are a pain in the backside. When I went to the Maldives a couple of Germans had appointed themselves the policemen of the island and their arrogance was quite incredible. One saw the gold chain and shark's tooth I wear around my neck, came up to me, took hold of the tooth and asked me to sell it to him!

 

I liked the story of the plane landing in Germany, there is a similar story told about an ederly English tourist arriving in immigration in France. He was asked for his passport and expressed his suprise that it was necessary. The immigration officer got a bit stroppy and asked the guy if he had ever been to France before. The tourist said that he had, "Then you will have had to show your passport then" said the officer. "No I didn't" said the tourist. "I can assure you that you did" said the officer. "Look 'ere mate" said the tourist, "the last time I was here was on the 6th June 1944 and I couldn't find a bloody Frenchman to show it to".

Edited November 12, 2008 by chevin

[Guest Jan V]

And WELL DONE to you both for the Kraut Rout.

 

note: yes, I know it is not a PC comment and will be considered rude by some/many/most. So sue me.

especially from your Kraut wife (Schoner - remember???)

[barry luxton]

You will get away with it this time only..........

 

Good shot vagabond, I have posted this before, not sure if its based on fact but makes me chuckle evrytime.........

 

 

 

I looked at the first story closely after I heard it, I discovered that 'speedbird' was a callsign used by British Airways Aircraft at the time, so it could be that it is a fabrication or has been altered through time, still funny though.

 

on holiday in the med and me misses was fed up with the towels on the sunbeds first thing in the morning, next thing i knew she collected loads and threw them in the pool, loads of places then.

 

I think b a used speedbird as a concorde call sign.

[Alan Stubbs]

I liked the story of the plane landing in Germany, there is a similar story told about an ederly English tourist arriving in immigration in France. He was asked for his passport and expressed his suprise that it was necessary. The immigration officer got a bit stroppy and asked the guy if he had ever been to France before. The tourist said that he had, "Then you will have had to show your passport then" said the officer. "No I didn't" said the tourist. "I can assure you that you did" said the officer. "Look 'ere mate" said the tourist, "the last time I was here was on the 6th June 1944 and I couldn't find a bloody Frenchman to show it to".

 

 

I was in a queue in Paris and in front of us a family from the Carcassonne area were chatting away very disparagingly about the English (Mrs Thatcher was the then PM.....)

 

I said to my son 'How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?'

 

'Shut up, Dad, you'll embarrass us!'

'No, I won't, it's a serious question.'

I was tapped on the shoulder by a Croatian man who lived in London who asked me for the answer.....

 

'Nobody knows for sure... they never tried!'

Edited November 13, 2008 by Alan Stubbs

[Huge_Vitae]

I was in a queue in Paris and in front of us a family from the Carcassonne area were chatting away very disparagingly about the English (Mrs Thatcher was the then PM.....)

 

I said to my son 'How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?'

 

'Shut up, Dad, you'll embarrass us!'

'No, I won't, it's a serious question.'

I was tapped on the shoulder by a Croatian man who lived in London who asked me for the answer.....

 

'Nobody knows for sure... they never tried!'

[Tony U]

"Breakfast was at 8 am, but we had arranged an early birding walk, followed by an "early" breakfast at 7.30, followed by fishing. (more of that tomorrow, with pics)"

 

Vagabond

I hope that includes the bird report as well as the fishing

 

Tony