Peggy Burke

This may have appeared before but still bears repeating LONDON TIMES OBITUARY OF THE LATE MR COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.' and a little extra........................ Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600 employees and has the following statistics ? 29 have been accused of spouse abuse 7 have been arrested for fraud 19 have been accused of writing bad cheques 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses 3 have done time for assault 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit 4 have been arrested on drug-related charges 8 have been arrested for shoplifting 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits 84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year Which organization is this ? It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he UNcharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. 'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds'. Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will this take?' I asked. 'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies. I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?' Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your bum, didn't it?'

I agree Newt - Microsoft are a pain in the b** but as you say in this case it's ZA However have just downloaded ZA anew and done a clean install and everything is back working fine, including having the firewall set at High. Peggy

Yes Steve's right. My computer was showing as connected to the wireless and Steve's laptop which runs Vista was fine. After much head-scratching and checking Zone Alarm which was fine, the only thing that I could think of was that there was a security setting problem as the update was a Windows security one. When I checked it out I found that all my trusted sites had been cleared out. I then put in my homepage and it loaded and everything else then worked. I spoke to my brother about it later and he confirmed that this does happen when Windows updates their security and the thing to do is to re-enter one of your trusted sites. It then seems to clear the problem. Darned annoying as I lost over an hour sorting this out.

It's been law to carry a first aid kit in Germany for years - was when I went to live there in 1971. However if you were present at an accident you weren't allowed to use the kit to help the injured party, it had to be made available to the attending medical service. There was a story of an British military medic helping out at the scene of an accident where the person died and he was threatened with a charge of manslaughter!! Maybe apocryphal but knowing German law probably not!!

I upgraded and since doing so haven't had the problems with updating AVG as with the previous version. Very happy indeed with it and no problems noticed.

I've had those as well and the PayPal ones. I can't understand anyone getting caught out on the bank ones if they don't bank with the instituion. As for PayPal and e-Bay I always log on to my accounts there and check out any purported problems.

Hi Sportsman We take PayPal and are registered as a business with them. We hadn't heard of Payment Pro, but having checked it out it appears to cost £20 per month extra for little benefit. However we're increasingly sending invoices via Google Checkout rather than PayPal. It's very much cheaper than PayPal. Other minor advantages are that you don't have to have a minimum amount of £50 to transfer your money free of charge. Also you don't even have to bother transferring it to your bank, Google does it for you automatically. Another aspect I like is the fact that Google does a credit card check before authorising the payment and tells you that the payment has passed. We've had a couple of payment rejected because there's been a problem such as the card being out of date. Finally, Google's customer service is miles better than PayPal's in our experience. Most of our customers now use Google Checkout. However we offer PayPal as well so customers have an option.

Done!!! Peggy

Steve has just called and asked me to tell everyone that the list is now closed for the Fish-In. Peggy

The signs are still there Chesters - Links Fahren (German) and Tenez la Gauche (French). There is also a third languge which has been there for years - I've always thought it one of the Scandinavian ones - I'll have to check it out now. Having just spent a week in Wales I've found it fascinating seeing the the signs in both languages. In fact where we were staying near Carmarthen they were in Welsh first and if it was a fairly long message you often didn't manage to read the English before you'd whizzed past. However got to remember the important ones like Araf - Slow and Dim parcio - No parking As regards the signs in Polish I think it's quite likely as there are a large number of Polish lorries and private cars on the roads in our corner of Kent.

{admin note - wav file added. Newt} Alarmclockproblemen.wmv

Thanks Davy, I've had a look. Gives quite a number of word derivations I do think that many of the sayings' derivations are lost in 'the mist of time' and it's difficult to get a definitive answer. This is another link which gives a whole lot of info and also says if an explanation is not necessarily 100% sure. http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/sayindex.htm

Nice one HV. I hadn't heard that one, certainly will pass it on to friends.

Thanks Jan. I think these sayings are fascinating, particularly because there are so many theories as to where they've come from. Another one I like is 'a cock and bull story'. The excerpt below shows just how difficult is to say where a particular saying came from. A cock and bull story Meaning A fanciful and unbelievable tale. Origin It is widely reported that the phrase originated at Stony Stratford ('the jewel of Milton Keynes'), Buckinghamshire, England. Visitors to Milton Keynes might feel the bar for 'jewel' status is set rather low in that region, although Stony Stratford is indeed a rather pleasant town. Coaches between London and Birmingham changed horses in the town at two of the main coaching inns - the Cock and the Bull. The banter of the rival groups of travellers, from England's two largest cities, resulted in exaggerated and fanciful stories. The story is plausible but there's no real evidence to support it, although the two hostelries did, and still do, exist. Don't mentioned this in Stony Stratford if you want to get out alive, but it's more likely that the phrase comes from old folk tales that featured magical animals. The French term "coq-a-l'ane" has the same meaning. This was later taken up in Scots as "cockalayne", again with the same meaning. The first citation in English is from Robert Burton's The anatomy of melancholy, 1621: "Some mens whole delight is to talk of a Cock and Bull over a pot." This lends support to the view that the stories were about cocks and bulls, i.e. fanciful tales, rather than stories told in the Cock or the Bull. The early date doesn't rule out the coaching inn story though, as they were both in business prior to 1651. One of the richest sources of English colourful sayings come from The Bard himself and I don't think even Snopes would dispute these

Will have to have a search round for these Newt. I find these sayings fascinating and of course there are always lots of suggestions of where they come from. Probably the truth is, that in many cases, no one can be really sure. Certainly the derivation of 'threshold' is explained similarly by the 'great' Jack Hargreaves. As a by the by if you want to read 2 wonderful books about British country life you could do no better than read 'Ouf of Town' and 'The Old Country' by Jack. He used to have a great weekly show on our regional TV station called 'Out of Town' where he used to explore the countryside around his New Forest home and further afield in Southern England.

A friend has just sent these and as someone who loves both social history and the history of the English Language found them fascinating. Of couse there are often other explanations and would be good to hear them, or the origins of any other sayings that people know. In The 1500's The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the1500s: These are interesting... Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water.. Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying It's raining cats and dogs. There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance way. Hence the saying a thresh hold. (Getting quite an education, aren't you?) In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables a nd did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old. Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat. Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust. Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake. And that's the truth...Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! ! Have you got a different explanation to one of these or indeed another interesting saying and its roots?

If I'm in any public building (pub or otherwise) where smoking is allowed how can I avoid inhaling the smoke in the air - short of arriving in an NBC suit or wearing a gas mask? Whether a restaurant is licesned or not shouldn't make any differerence to the smoking policy. No one wants to eat food contaminated by cigarette smoke and just having a separate area doesn't solve the problem. Smoke doesn't stop short just because there's a No Smoking sign. Smokers are drug addicts and will always find a justification for indulging their habit. That's fine but do it where it doesn't effect those of us who don't wish to have our physical well-being jeopardised. If you remember Roy Castle died of lung cancer having never smoked. Why - he performed for years in the smoke laden atmosphere of clubs.

I'm Hythe born and bred and whilst the smoking ban may have been the final straw for The Red Lion it may not be the whole story. There are 2 more pubs within 100 yards, The Globe and The Duke's Head. Not much further is the Gate and then through Hythe's High Street there are a further 3 large pubs all offering food as well as drink. The renaming of the pub to The Watersedge certainly didn't help and although it's now returned to it's old name, certainly I think it suffered from this ill-advised change. To me the whole issue is not whether the Government has reneged on the smoking/non smoking areas in pubs. It's should people be made to inhale toxic fumes against their will. To me the only answer to that is no they shouldn't and therefore smoking should be banned in any public place be it pub, restaurant shop etc.

Exactly!!! Heroin, crack cocaine and other drug addicts don't have a direct effect on the physical health of those with whom they live and work. On the social and emotional side that's another issue of course. However cigarette smokers do have an effect on the health and well-being of those around them and I for one have chosen not to smoke. I therefore do not wish to be in a room where I'll be forced to inhale tobacco smoke. Steve made the point of smokers being drug addicts. One incident that brought that home to be very forcibly was back in 1984 whilst waiting for a return flight to UK from Boston. The plane we were due to travel on had to be withdrawn due to mechanical problems and therefore a short-bodied 747 was brought in to replace it. All the the seats had to be re-allocated and at that time there was still both smoking and non-smoking seats . The smoking seats soon filled up and the woman in front of me wanted a smoking seat and was told that if she wanted to go on that flight she would have to accept non-smoking. She went ballistic and was told politely that she either went non-smoking or waited for a later flight. She waited!!!! As a teacher I was often subjected to huge wafts of stale cigarette smoke when opening children's reading bags. Their reading books stank and one can only guess at what it was like inside their homes. The one thing that upsets me more than anything however is young children and babies being exposed to passive smoking. The sight of a pregnant mother puffing away makes me so angry. Everyone shouts loudly about the rights of the unborn child when discussing abortion. What about a baby's right to grow in a smoke-free womb?

I found it by accident and have got hooked. Couldn't go to bed last night until I found out whether TJ was safe!! Peggy

I remember we had a small outbreak at school a few years ago. Caused a stir amongst the parents and some disbelief. However soon sorted Well done Elton MD!!!

When I lived in Germany I bougt a special bottle of liqueur for a German friend and wondered why he wasn't ecstatic about it! It was Irish Mist! Another German word to beware of is 'gift' It means poison.

Have you been plagued with these? An Australian friend sent me this. My thanks for all the emails this past year Especially the one about rat **** in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program ..... Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split £7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died with no relatives. Once I give her my bank details. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward your e-mails to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan. Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum. And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a murderer waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's window cleaner. By the way.... a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with a low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.