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Dog Psychology - Cat Psychology


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Dog Psychology - Cat Psychology

 

A Dog's Diary

 

0800 hours - Oh Boy! Breakfast! My favourite!

 

0900 hours - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favourite!

 

1000 hours - Oh Boy! A walk! My favourite!

 

1100 hours - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favourite!

 

Noon - Oh Boy! A nap! My favourite!

 

1300 - Oh Boy! The yard! My favourite!

 

1500 hours - Oh Boy! TV! My favourite!

 

1600 hours - Oh Boy! Dinner! My favourite!

 

1700 hours - Oh Boy! Grandma! My favourite!

 

1900 hours - Oh Boy! Playing with my toys! My favourite!

 

2100 hours - Oh Boy! Sleeping in Mommy's bed! My favourite!

 

 

A Cat's Diary

 

Day 283 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry crumbly cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture and teasing the dog.

 

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking so they would fall to their death almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse my vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair; must try this on their bed.

 

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am fully capable of, and to try to strike fear into their miserable hearts. They only cooed and commented about what a good Little kitty I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan - they must be rather stupid.

 

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was because of my power of "Allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

 

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released outside yet seems more than happy to return. He is obviously an idiot. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the small metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time..

"What did you expect to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically...?"

 

Basil Fawlty to the old bat, guest from hell, Mrs Richards.

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Excellent...

 

"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer."

 

 

:D

 

 

C.

"Study to be quiet." ><((º> My Blog

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Lolol, very good

Ian

 

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you"

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Just got this from John - he is evidently a little upset just now.

 

an-stressed.jpg

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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skippy:

Hee hee hee!!! Can I cross post to a Samoyed Forum??? Please? Too late .... done!!!!!!

The Cat (in the original, I believe) has just mailed me with this:

 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very droll. We get a lot of this, Paul. But then, unlike dogs, we can WAIT..."

"What did you expect to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically...?"

 

Basil Fawlty to the old bat, guest from hell, Mrs Richards.

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skippy:

I'm waiting ...... knees aren't knocking..... am I scared ... err NO! Bring it on pussy cat!

"What's that you say, Skip? Those Aussie b'stards are culling you...?"

"What did you expect to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically...?"

 

Basil Fawlty to the old bat, guest from hell, Mrs Richards.

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