I swear this actually happened

[argyll]

I spent the afternoon getting my boat tidied up and the engines checked out for an early start tomorrow. Went up to the chandlers for a fuel hose. There's a new Merc parked outside with a 20 foot cabin boat on a trailer behind. The driver got out and said 'would you mind doing me a favour and watching the light board at the back whilst I try the lights, I just got this tow bar fitted across the road' So I stand at the back noticing that the trailer had separate light and numberplate boards. 'Stop lights' he shouted, stop lights came on. 'Left indicator' he shouted, the right indicator came on. 'Right indicator' he shouted, the left indicator came on. He got out of the car. I told him what had happened. Before I could say anymore he looked at me and said' those bas&*$s have wired it the

wrong way around' 'Nope' I said 'you've got the lighting board on upside down' As I walked away trying not to laugh out loud, I noticed the car had Irish plates.

[ayjay]

 

It always makes me laugh in one of our local supermarkets, they sell "Thick Irish sauages"

[little onions]

The lady who owns our local wool shop is Irish. She advertises 'extra thick men's hats for sale'

[Peter Waller]

Not long ago I watched a bespectacled fellow painstakingly painting the name, right way up, on his upturned dinghy. 'The Hooker', looked dead smart too. Lovely bit of work, and it really was, 'till he turned his boat over to put it back into the river!! Definately not Irish! Had a posh SE London accent !

[yoxer]

The first car I ever had was a fairthorpe kit car that some nutter had built. The wiring was as like discribed ..indictor on the brake lights would flash , brake lights on, the indictors would flash ...in no particular order and definately not the right ones.They worked fine if it was dry but when raining the whole effect was similar to blackpool illuminations on a bad night. In the days when you could get away with drink driving I was pulled over by a police mini and asked if I knew how to signal when going round a roundabout.

Giving the desired and correct proceedures for this , while a friend in the passenger seat sang extracts from maggie may between swigs, the nice policeman just said " mmmm just **** off and use hand signals when its raining " .

[Paul_D]

Are you getting nostalgic for the old Britain you will be leaving soon Yoxer?

[yoxer]

Its all a matter of comparisons. Then, and especialy now, the UK has little to offer except a downward spiral of gloom depression and misery. Anyone finding a spec of joy in the UK will in all probability find it in abundance in a more hospitable, and a more favourable economic climate.

[Newt]

Cheer up yoxer. I feel sure you can find enough gloom and doom to be happy wherever you might happen to settle.

[captain cojones]

yoxer. you would be amazed what a difference it makes to wake up every morning with sun streaming through the window.bleedin marvelous!!! :cool:

[severus]

Yoxer:

quote:

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Anyone finding a spec of joy in the UK will in all probability find it in abundance in a more hospitable, and a more favourable economic climate.

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As Bill Clinton once said, "Ah feel yo' pain." My state (Michigan) has lost 170,000 manufacturing jobs the past 4 years, to outsourcing, Mexico, and Asia. It sucks. I'm not sure Bush can win here in November, regardless of who he's running against.