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Some Scottish humour

Davy Holt

By Davy Holt
in Non-Fishing Chat

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Davy Holt Member

Davy Holt

Posted
Posted

I'd just like to thank Sandy from one of the newsgroups for this gem :)

 

I know sme of you are still in mourning but I thought this was quite

appropriate :)

 

40 degrees-Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Scotland sunbathe.

 

35 degrees-Italian cars won't start.

People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

 

20 degrees-Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.

People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

 

15 degrees-Californians begin to evacuate the state.

People in Scotland go swimming.

 

Zero degrees-New York landlords finally turn up the heat.

People in Scotland have the last bbq before it gets cold.

 

10 degrees below zero-People in Miami cease to exist.

People in Scotland lick flagpoles.

 

20 degrees below zero-Californians fly away to Mexico.

People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

 

80 degrees below zero-Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.

Scottish Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets

cold enough.

 

100 degrees below zero-Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps.

 

173 degrees below zero-Ethyl alcohol freezes.

People in Scotland get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.

 

297 degrees below zero-Microbial life start to disappear.

Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

 

460 degrees below zero-ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Scotland start saying "chilly, you cald an aw?"

 

500 degrees below zero-Hell freezes over.

Scottish people support England in World Cup!!!!

Davy

 

"Skate Anglers Have Bigger Tackle"

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chesters1 Member

chesters1

Posted
Posted

could and probably true but i expect most scottish people dont live in scotland :D

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

None of this "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" crap it just means i have at least two enemies!

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

Life insurance? you wont enjoy a penny!

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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peterpikefisher Member

peterpikefisher

Posted
Posted

read the record dae ye

good un man

cpranim.gif

15/06/12 PB Perch 3 lb 10 oz 03/03/11 Common Carp 23lb 6 oz 05/06/12 Sturgeon 7 lb 13 oz 06/06/12 Mirror Carp 21 lb 2 oz

09/03/13 PB PIKE 27 lb 9 ozARNO3010CustomImage1086535.gif

 

 

 

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John S Member

John S

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Off on a brief tangent.... Most of the people who wear kilts in Scotland are American tourists

John S

Quanti Canicula Ille In Fenestra

 

Species caught in 2017 Common Ash, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, White Willow.

Species caught in 2016: Alder, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Crab Apple, Left Earlobe, Pedunculate Oak, Rock Whitebeam, Scots Pine, Smooth-leaved Elm, Swan, Wayfaring tree.

Species caught in 2015: Ash, Bird Cherry, Black-Headed Gull, Common Hazel, Common Whitebeam, Elder, Field Maple, Gorse, Puma, Sessile Oak, White Willow.

Species caught in 2014: Big Angry Man's Ear, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Common Whitebeam, Downy Birch, European Beech, European Holly, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, Wych Elm.
Species caught in 2013: Beech, Elder, Hawthorn, Oak, Right Earlobe, Scots Pine.

Species caught in 2012: Ash, Aspen, Beech, Big Nasty Stinging Nettle, Birch, Copper Beech, Grey Willow, Holly, Hazel, Oak, Wasp Nest (that was a really bad day), White Poplar.
Species caught in 2011: Blackthorn, Crab Apple, Elder, Fir, Hawthorn, Horse Chestnut, Oak, Passing Dog, Rowan, Sycamore, Willow.
Species caught in 2010: Ash, Beech, Birch, Elder, Elm, Gorse, Mullberry, Oak, Poplar, Rowan, Sloe, Willow, Yew.

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