Jump to content

HAVE A LAUGH


Bobj
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • 2 weeks later...

846A3438-2A91-4068-9847-A087278E8688.jpeg

  • Haha 4

Want to buy a berleybomb? email sales( remove [email protected])berleybomb.com

 

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

C5947307-9743-4219-A891-F1C750960E38.jpeg

  • Haha 3

Want to buy a berleybomb? email sales( remove [email protected])berleybomb.com

 

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've seen a fair few of these lists over the years, but I don't think I've seen this one before.
 
Primary School Children Writing About The Sea
 
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
 
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jamie age 6)
 
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)
 
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
 
5) A dolphin breaths through an ar$ehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 7)
 
6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily age 5)
 
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
 
8 )I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
 
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)
 
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
 
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
 
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.(Becky age 8 )
 
13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny (Julie age 7)
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

C05C3FEE-071D-4C2A-BFDD-AC7301230E0F.jpeg

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Want to buy a berleybomb? email sales( remove [email protected])berleybomb.com

 

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
An old ex matelot walks into the local Cathedral and says to the rector, "I would like to join this f*cking church."
 
The astonished man replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
 
"Listen, damn it. I said I want to join this f*cking church!"
 
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in the house of our Lord ."
 
The rector leaves his desk and goes into the bishop's study to inform him of the situation. The Bishop agrees that the rector does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to his office and the Bishop asks the ex matelot,
 
"Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
 
"There is no damn problem," the ex matelot says. "I just won 5 million quid on the fecking lottery and I want to join this f*cking church to get rid of some of this fecking money."
 
"I see," said the Bishop, "and is this f*cking **** giving you a hard time?
  • Haha 1

Want to buy a berleybomb? email sales( remove [email protected])berleybomb.com

 

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Paddy went for an interview for a job on a building site.

The foreman said - OK Paddy, can you give me a sentence that contains the word "Fascinate".

Paddy replies, "I have 9 buttons on my Donkey Jacket, but I can only fasten eight"

  • Like 1

Fishin' - "Best Fun Ya' can 'ave wi' Ya' Clothes On"!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...