Dirty Tricks

[Guest sandpipper]

Hi all, Whats the worst one you have ever heard of, From super glueing doorlocks to one ive just been told about that a mate of mine had two of his rods dragged into the sea by someone on a fishing boat (they driffted to close) he shouted at them and was told to f**k off anyway that was three weeks ago now he has found out where the boat is moored, to cut a long story short he drilled holes in it and now its going to sink, not funny i know.

so what dirty tricks have you heard about???

[Newt]

Hmmm - I'll have to set this one up a little.

 

When I was in my teens, winter time hunting always included mallard ducks. We hunted them wearing hip boots and in water from knee to mid-thigh deep and usually needed about a half mile or more walking in water from where we parked to the better hunting places.

 

The weather was cold enough in November-December that most early mornings saw a skin of ice on the water. We used dogs for fetching in the shot birds and mostly labs or other breeds that swim well and tolerate cold water.

 

Fun days but staying dry was critical since in those days even more than today, wet clothing lost all insulation and you would get really cold, really quickly. No one ever hunted alone in these conditions and there were usually 4-5 of us set up at a likely place.

 

The dogs needed some way to stay out of the water between fetching birds so we used small platforms attached to trees about an inch above the water line. The platforms were also convenient places to rest your shotgun when you needed to urinate since the multi layers of clothing and cold temps meant the process required two hands and several minutes.

 

One friend, lets call him Charlie, was out with a brand new shotgun for it's first hunt. He had paid huge money (well, huge for a teenager) for the gun and treated it like a newborn baby.

 

Came the time when Charlie needed to take a leak so he stood his gun against a tree using the platform as a butt rest and then walked a few steps and turned away to do his business. One of the others thought it would be good fun to scare Charlie so he moved the gun out of sight and dropped a large, dead stick in the water by the platform.

 

Charlie heard the splash and looked over with a horror-struck expression to see no gun on the platform. He quickly waded to the tree and began to feel around with a toe until he kicked what he though was his brand new shotgun. Then came the realization that he could not pick it up without getting wet.

 

Bent over, picked up the stick, muttered some words while throwing the stick away, felt around some more with his feet and nothing. Well, no choice except to kneel down and feel around for his gun which filled his boots with water and soaked all his clothing with the near freezing water.

 

When one of the others "found" the gun and returned it to him, it was touch & go as to Charlie's shooting one or more of us for laughing so loud at the wonderful joke.

 

Luckily the walk back to the trucks kept him warm enough to avoid really severe hypothermia but he was very glad to shed the wet boots & clothing and wrap in a blanket while the engine heater warmed up his truck. Someone else drove back since between his shivering and needing to hold the blanket, his driving would have been impaired.

 

Boys, Eh!!! :D

[Peter]

Nothing to do with fishing but I am assured it is true. A friend of mine who has a couple of small retail businesses told me that an elderly lady customer of his had been conned by a person selling carpet from the back of a van. He found out where this person lived which was a large new house out in the country. He apparantly paid him a visit late one night and 'seeded' his drains with dry cement and scattered weed killer over his gardens. I don't think the person complained to the Police, or if he did there were too many possible suspects.

[Ken L]

I had a little dispute with a neigbour a while ago and several options crossed my mind:

 

* An early morning foray into his garden with several pieces of Japanise knotweed root.

 

* A piece of shed guttering though his letterbox and quietly delivering a couple of pints of very carefully sieved maggots into his lounge.

 

* Turning his water off at the road stopcock and then filling the hole with cement before dropping the steel cover back into place.

 

* Turning the stereo onto max and going out for the weekend.

 

I only actually did one of them before we parted company but the thought was there.

[RobStubbs]

I had a little dispute with a neigbour a while ago and several options crossed my mind:

 

* An early morning foray into his garden with several pieces of Japanise knotweed root.

 

* A piece of shed guttering though his letterbox and quietly delivering a couple of pints of very carefully sieved maggots into his lounge.

 

* Turning his water off at the road stopcock and then filling the hole with cement before dropping the steel cover back into place.

 

* Turning the stereo onto max and going out for the weekend.

 

I only actually did one of them before we parted company but the thought was there.

 

Come on then, which one was it ?

 

Rob.

[chesters1]

we used to use abundant superglue at the local bum chums haunt on the hogs back (a local hill) a bit on the chain pull and a lot on the bog door bolt ,it caught them as well and the fire brigade was seen often in the vicinity ,errr unless the firemen were the chums ,cling film over the pan is an excellent way of having fun still

[Sportsman]

I was working on a North Sea drilling rig which was a "semi Submersible" so it sort of floated and rolled with the swell. We worked a 14 days on 14 days off rota with an opposite number who worked when you were off. He would also sleep in the same single cabin. In the cabin we have a large metal locker each, bolted to the wall, and locked securley.

My opposite number and I didn't see "eye to eye" on a number of things and there had been a bit of niggle for a while so before going off for my 14 days I cleared the top shelf in my locker and placed on it a couple of golf balls, free to roll around.

As the rig rolled in the sea there would be rumble rumble rumble "BONG! rumble rumble rumble BONG ! 24 hrs a day.

Did I mention that the locker was right next to the bunk

[Guest Ferret1959]

I 'fell out' with a company I worked for a while back, well they sacked me to be honest but I was innocent.

 

 

 

Anyhow I left it a while so as not to get the finger pointed at me and took great pleasure in shooting a stink bomb with my catty at the air con intake to the offices.

 

Oh what glee when they all came running out on the street looking like they was all gonna chuck up at the same time.

 

Some of them even saw me and asked how I was doing, never even entered thier minds why I was the only person there smiling. :D

[Steve Randles]

Cling film on the pan? Pahh, old hat! I once cling-filmed someones car, this nameless pastry chef had a penchant for cling-filming every piece of food he worked with.

 

A Salmons head left to mature wrapped tightly in cling film for a week, then placed behind someones radiator, couple of quick slashes with a sharp knife and your in business.

 

Mustard and cress seed, broadcasted over someones carpet and watered a little will give them a new carpet when they come back from their hols or mini break.

 

Talking of Carpets, maggots do like to burrow into them and go to sleep, only to caom back to haunt the owner when they have turned to flies. Very effective in cars is this one.

 

Super concentrated powder food colouring is available in the food trade and some of this sprinkled on the inside of a shower head can give some amazing effects.

 

All of the above and many many more where performed whilst "living in" at a Hotel Restaurant a good few years back.

 

Steve...

[big al]

a gut once reported my mum to the police for driving on the pavement ,she went to court before it was thrown out !! what a waste of money .so i made his life hell .calling from a public phone box at AM on the way to a lake .this means he cannot hang up the phone until someone hangs up the pay phone.sending all sorts of stuff in the post .putting his obituary in the local paper (paid in cash back then ).

 

but the best was getting the dustcart to accidentally smash into his car that he parked outside his house every morning even though he had a drive .driver was happy to accept a few quid in the pup as he hated him as well .i must admit i kind of miss those days be afraid be very afraid .cheers big AL