A ittle bit of silliness for chesters1

[chesters1]

It is a perpetual motion machine. It'll stay perpetually in motion, just as long as some photons are hittting it. I'd like to point a laser pointer at one.

nothing happens with a <1mw laser the beam maybe to narrow the things work by absorbing and repelling so with two lasers?

[Huge_Vitae]

Well JohnS, your post got me thinking (at THIS point Gozzer, you need to stop and think, 'do

I really really need to post') now we both have dogs, when I take my dogs for a walk after a fresh snow fall, I notice that the snow is all white and fresh, after I have trudged through it with the dogs following behind, on my return, I notice there are small patches of yellow snow here and there, now, there is an idea, if I could scoop up and keep the yellow snow parts, which must surely be some sort of fungi growth, and scoop up and keep some of the White snow and colour that with the blue stuff from the nodding bird, there is an ideal surprise to feed to guests, just wondering if you, or others on here might, perhaps have more ideas on presenting differing coloured snow to entertain guests?

 

Corydoras, you have quite obviously suffered from, what is called in the Military as a SHF, you are at an extreme risk of turning into a BOF, I wish I could help you more, but afraid that the limit of my expertise is to tell you to 'lighten up a bit'.

[chesters1]

Hmmm thats a money making idea for cash strapped councils ,we know owners can be fined for leaving poop but nothing is done about the gallons of wee that must be deposited each day (you should try metal detecting in a small field with 6 horses in you reek of it getting home) ofcourse its less harmful than poo but we all know sense doesnt occur when councils dream up bye-laws.

Anyway in times of snow when our new pumped up with self importance pee wardens are out and about owners should mandatory pick up yellow snow laid by their beloved pooch and either deposit in a water butt placed next to the poo bin or if not one is available keep it in a camping cool box to stop it leaking back onto the ground

 

Win win solution for nearly all ,council issues fines to defaulters thus putting more money into supporting mayors we dont and never have needed ,more pumped up with self importance 'wardens' (now theres a pumped up name straight off) huge rise in sales of camping thermo boxes and the REALLY clever bit the fricking snow covering foot paths WILL eventually get cleared as its been put in water butts or taken home by law abiding dog owners

 

Now thats a stick but to counter it a carrot ,people will get the right to spray CS gas in the faces of screaming kids in public areas legaly and use it on their parents if they object ,win win huge sale in CS gas only sold by councils ,hundreds of people rolling on ground with eyes streaming hopefully getting the billions of fag ends stuck to them so they brush them off and hopefully get fined for dropping litter by the pumped up with their own self importance litter wardens ,if they actually get away from the alley by the poundshop playing on their phone smoking fags

 

Imwas going to as to have a bye-law made where fat people with beards get priority walking about ,those that dont meet the criteria must by law move 6 feet to either side and let the fat bearded one go through ,unfortunately going by aldershot yesterday all it would achieve is a human version of a pin ball machine with foreigner's acting as the posts and buffers and the ethnics bouncing about like balls

Edited December 4, 2016 by chesters1

[Huge_Vitae]

I try to post a sensible question and along you come Chesters and make it into a joke. Now there is an obvious flaw I have found in your plan, well not exactly 'me' but I did run it through Google so that means I can claim it as 'my' expert opinion.

 

So, in the formula a + b = c, where a is the amount of snowfall, b is the amount of yellow patches! both of which will vary, c must be the capacity of the water containers which will remain a fixed volume.

 

In the absence of a method of disposal of the contents your plan will fail. Now, if you had put some more thought to it, you would provide eye wash containers affixed to the snow containers. In that way people on the receiving end of your CS policy would rush to the eye wash containers, fill them from the collectors and wash their faces with the melted yellow snow to obtain temporary relief.

 

The new equation would therefore be, (where d = the amount of people gassed and washing their faces) a+b=c-d.

 

There would be a requirement for more people to be gassed during heavy snowfall but the added incentive would be that children are more likely to behave in the summer months when the temporary relief of the yellow water is unavailable.

[chesters1]

dammit your right what a silly billy i have been not to notice that gaping hole in my reasoning ,but in the summer they could run to the nearest river to wash their eyes and perhaps advance their swimming ability or provide work for lifeguards who will be a mandatory installation every 50 feet once the EU spot the chance to impose more laws on britain ,how they will be financed though is a mystery the dog poop and dog pee fines only keep the mayor in expenses never mind funding several million lifeguards and the litter fines only get used on some more "officers" to dream up bye-laws we already have in another department.

I shall don my smoking jacket ,fez put on my pince-nez glasses and lambskin gloves and retire to my den and smoke a bowl of opium while i dwell on the matter

Edited December 4, 2016 by chesters1

[gozzer]

OK, as per HVs suggestion, I thought long and hard before deciding to post on this thread.

 

Firstly, although I acknowledge the undoubted expertise both HV and chesters have in all matters urine, and the extraction thereof, I think in this case you have both been carried away with thoughts of vast monetary gain.

 

I do however think that neither of you have fully thought this out. The yellow snow that you suggest harvesting, would potentially have many different sources, and therefore different flavours, properties, uses, and even different, and possibly dangerous, side effects. Unless you actually witness the production of this 'yellow snow', you would need to find a way of processing the stuff, in order to determine it's origin. That of feline origin, would differ from that of canine origin, the same with bovine, and porcine, not to mention the Friday and Saturday nights deluge of human origin.

 

I do hope I haven't overstepped the mark in making this suggestion to men of your calibre, and respectfully hope you take the said suggestion in the manner in which it was intended.

 

John.

[chesters1]

Ok ok we can mix it all up then ferment it and then evapourate it down to form a highly concentrated version ,its all pi#ss to my still!

 

The then highly concentrated but now safe liquid can be watered down with white snow in the water butts and equilibrium established ,ofcourse the council will have to employ people to empty and refill the butts ,i think 'pi+ss takers' is a suitable name for such council officers and probably the rest as well but to avoid confusion the rest should be called Rsoles when speaking solely on the matter of yellow snow (of any origin) its collection and dispersal and matters therof

 

As to the matter of weekend deposits the watering down to a safe level of toxicity is enveloped in my CS gas policy ,as you know as well as rolling around picking up fag ends amongst the screams of pain copious amounts of tears will be produced which if the policy is enforced and children are children then all will be well ,if the urine problem still has a negative outcome and screaming kids and rolling parents are not enough the scope of the bye-law can be widened so persons can use CS gas on cripples ,those with eyes to close toogether ,drunks (hopefully pre urination so they pee in their pants thus lessening the impact on shop doorways) ,gingers or those with yellow hair but dark eyebrows ,scots and those uttering words members of the public cannot understand and beggers although only in a las resort because their insistance to sit wrapped in pink blankets in those doorways will absorb some urine but more work will be needed to see if the balance is negative by the urine of the mandatory dog on a bit of string that appears to be part of the uniform of such types but I think central government has been thinking about this and bringing in more measures to allow the formation of more homeless people to fill all shop doorways but i think the issuing of pink blankets and bailer twine will be outsourced to a third party C4S has been mentioned

It is understood several polish and Romanian characters have offered their services to provide rolling and crying services on the highstreet as they have found out their carcwashing employees have almost 4 hours left in their day and could be employed at a reasonable rate so long as the employees are not told how much they are being paid ,this is ofcourse because back home they have no money and an extra 30p a day could help their folks back home get a ticket to here and join in the fun this and the brown envelopes proffered to the council it has been alledged could curry favour with the EU and lessen the effect of said EU sanctions on CS gas as buying it from non EUbmembers illegal under present directives ,all in all a benificial outcome for all

Edited December 5, 2016 by chesters1

[Huge_Vitae]

OK, as per HVs suggestion, I thought long and hard before deciding to post on this thread.

 

Firstly, although I acknowledge the undoubted expertise both HV and chesters have in all matters urine, and the extraction thereof, I think in this case you have both been carried away with thoughts of vast monetary gain.

 

I do however think that neither of you have fully thought this out. The yellow snow that you suggest harvesting, would potentially have many different sources, and therefore different flavours, properties, uses, and even different, and possibly dangerous, side effects. Unless you actually witness the production of this 'yellow snow', you would need to find a way of processing the stuff, in order to determine it's origin. That of feline origin, would differ from that of canine origin, the same with bovine, and porcine, not to mention the Friday and Saturday nights deluge of human origin.

 

I do hope I haven't overstepped the mark in making this suggestion to men of your calibre, and respectfully hope you take the said suggestion in the manner in which it was intended.

 

John.

Chesters, please do not allow yourself to be distracted from our plans, which, as any casual observer can see are quickly progressing with the possibility of gaining momentum throughout the Political Divide.

 

That Gozzer chap sublimely attempts to distract our thoughts by mentioning porcupines, did either of us mention those prickly little blighters, and in any case, why, just why would we consider 'just another immigrant' to our shores when our own hedgehogs are unable to find unskilled work.

 

He attempts also to divert our thoughts away from that well known creator of yellow snow, we all know where that blame lies, yes you got it now, the Whippet, and where do all the Whippets live? Yes once again you have it, all the whippets in the world live in Yorkshire!

 

And perhaps the final nail in the Gozzer coffin has to be an omission from his post, he attempts to divert our reasoned arguments whist indicating his thoughts that large patches of yellow snow are the biggest problem.

 

To my mind the large patches are visible from a distance and therefore easily avoided or indeed collected. What of the very small patches, unseen without the closest examinations.

 

Yes, I refer to the vast number of hampsters wandering around our Islands, secretly depositing near invisible patches of yellow snow, once you have this in mind then I have to refer you to a fact perhaps now gone into the mists of angler's net history where the Gozzer chap once admitted his then, if not now still, Presidency of the Yorkshire branch of the hamster appreciation society. And the bloke doesn't know how to spell hampster correctly, what chance has he got of following our high brow conversations?

[chesters1]

God i am now glad we havnt completely turned the isle of white into a super prison cum holiday camp otherwise your imput on this matter and of goozzers attempt to turn our gaze away from whippets ,hampsters and dare i say clogs and flat caps (all worn to take us real englishmens eyes of the fact its just lancashire but without manners) could have got away with it as well if you hadnt spotted the plot ,i am afraid i travelled through the wild north and have probably been affected as i quite like yorkshire puddings but they must be kept away from the gravy not filled with it as some prefer up north.

Perhaps your mentioning of porkupines is valid and the faint sounds of ee ba gum i hear and rustling in the undergrowth is porkupines or even wild boars ,i ofcourse thought it were night whippets but now my mind is open ,thank you for opening my eyes sir.

 

Bye the way we have night whippets in the area ,they were released by canadians that were stationed in york but managed to get rid of them once the influence of the north lost its hold ,they tend to stay in the areas of dogging sites where genetically the atrraction is from long gone breeders who turned the more ugly children into night whippets using dark magic and rhubarb ofcourse as most northern children were ugly a glut of them were produced so most were shipped to australia but saddly 99% died in the foot in mouth outbreak of 46 so only feral ones exist in the wild mostly crossbreeds with possums and platypusses and the distinctive ee ba gum long turned into the nasal whine long known in oz as cripes

Edited December 5, 2016 by chesters1

[gozzer]

Well, I leave a piece of helpful advice, don't come on for a couple of days, and what do I find? Insults, that's what. I've come to expect nothing more from that Noddy person who lives on that small island near France, but was surprised at chesters attitude. I then reread my post and saw the problem. I must apologise to you chesters, I realise that my post was a bit insensitive. For me to put the phrase 'long and hard' in the post, so soon after you posted, bemoaning the 'small pink flaccid thing in your pants', must have seemed like I was taking the 'yellow snow', but I assure you, it never crossed my mind.

As to the other person, I've long suspected that he was a wrong'un, and recent events have proven my suspicions to be correct. Many years ago, this person used to post regularly on here, (mostly attacks on those of us that live in the North). I believed that this was because his ancestors were banished from Yorkshire, and every other county they tried to settle in. This continued until they were finally pushed of the end of England, and found themselves on a backward little island, near France. This resentment seems to have continued down the ages, starting with their part in the 'Harrying of the North' during the 11th century, and continuing with each generation having their own attempt at some twisted type of revenge. This brings me to the present day, and this fellows attempt. He has suddenly appeared back on the site, and what has happen in recent times that concerns his allies and neighbours the French? Brexit of course, he's back on the site to cause a rift between those of us who voted to leave the club. He's already started with chesters and myself.

So be warned, the rest of you, don't listen to his spurious Gallic lies, you could be his next target!

 

John.