John Ellison

Che Geuvara I thought it was Jesus

That really is amazing. I think I'm a believer now

Chubsta, You've taken the words right out of my mouth. What's got lost in the mists of time, is, that it was, we, the anglers, who asked to pay a levy just after the turn of the last century because the rivers were little more than sewers. Now, well, I think that bloke might have been coming it, yes, but like you say, it's hardly a hanging offence is it. If the world had only anglers bending the rules slightly to worry about, there wouldn't be a lot wrong with it, would there? I once got pinched for fishing in private water many years ago and got an absolute discharge. I think the magistrate/beak/judge took the same view as I do. It's hardly in the same league as mugging old ladies.

I fished a busmans match at Bowesfield yesterday, and it was DIRE. I think 72 fished and the match was won with a local lad weighing 1 lbs 12 oz. My mates were second and third with 15 ozs and 12 ozs and I won my section with 8 1/2 ozs. I did draw the outside of a big wide bend which didn't help. I plumbed up on the pole, looking for the bottom of the shelf. When I got to 13 metres and the shelf was still falling away, I threw that up the bank and had a day on the feeder/link ledger. Throughout 5 hours I saw evidence of one silverfish topping at about 14 metres so I blasted 2 pouches of maggots on that line and went over it with a 6AAA link leger. I added 2 eels to the 5 ozs one I'd caught earlier in the deeper water. Admitted it was a blazing hot summers day and there was no movement to the river where I was. That was my first time on the Tees. If I was to fish it again, I'd want to fish where there is some pace in the river.

Let me tell you something Ayjay, when I was 25 I had a medical for my job. The doctor put the stethascope on me and looked at me menacingly and said "you need to lose weight. Are you interesed in sport?" "Yes". "Do you play football, rugby, cricket?" "no". "What sports are you interested in?" "Fishing and darts". "Oh"he said, "sat on a basket all day and in the pub all night" "er, well yes". If you look at the general health of anglers with their rotund figures and awful eating habits, it's small wonder many 'croak it' before their time. Be assured when I left that doctors surgery I addressed the problem and many years down the line, when I found out I'd Kidney cancer and the consultant looked me straight in the eye and said "are you fit" I was able to say,"I'm much fitter than most my age". I was put back half a day for an emergency admission for my op' and the lady that took my slot, had an heart attack before my very eyes in the critical care unit. Only then did I really appreciate the benefits of looking after myself and at all stages of my recovery I was told I was making very good progress. If you want to improve your longetivity of life there's much you can do for yourself. It hardly occurred to youths in the thirties that cigarette smoking can kill you. They certainly know about it now. With all the health info' available to us now, genetics aside, it's up to you.

Tench feed 'head to hell and tail to heaven' that's why the lift method is so effective.

A painter and decorator was working in the catholic church, painting the confessional. In came a distraught sinner and went into overdrive, telling how he'd been carrying on with his next door neighbours wife, the husband being oblivious as to what was going on and a whole host of other sins he wished to clear his concience of. The painter and decorater stood dumbfounded. The sinner asked, "that is father Mason isn't it? The painter and decorater said, "it's Perry Mason you need pal"

The only cow in a small Norfolk village stopped giving milk. The people did some resarch and found they could buy a cow just over the river in Suffolk for £200. They bought the cow from Suffolk and it was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were very happy. They decided to aquire a bull to mate with the cow to produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again. They bought the bull and put it in their pasture with their beloved cow. However, when ever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No whatever approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the vet, who was very wise, what they should do. They told the vet what happened and the vet thought for a minute and asked,"did you buy this cow in Suffolk?" The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they bought the cow. "How did you know we got the cow in Suffolk?" The vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "my wife is from Suffolk."

Newt, what on earth are you worried about? Only the other day I was telling the tale in the pub of how the wife used to be a model. I've got to say everyone looked astonished! Oh yes she did said I. In a toby jug factory Nice one that Jeff S.

Last fathers day I asked for a knife to cut lettuces and the like from my allotment. The specifications I gave were, straight 3" blade that will fold into my pocket. What did I get' a swiss army knife with which I promptly proceeded to slice the top of my finger off with while cutting Sweet Williams the very first time I used it. "What do you want this year dad"? I chose a shot dispenser. I have topped up and topped up my old dispenser that many times with whatever shot was available in the shop/shops that I've got all sorts of rubbish in there. Now, it's all the same brand, all in the same box and pristine which is more than I can say for my old one. Yeah

There was one day in 1977 when the river flooded and all the commercial trout fisheries at the time were engulfed, were were catching them in the Trent right up to the close season.

I read somewhere that in world war 2 they netted and canned perch from lake Windermere and were sold in tins as 'Perchines'.

Has anyone fished the River Tees in the Bowesfield area, near Stockton on Tees. I understand it's likely to be deep. I'm guessing it will be a pole or a feeder job. I'm still struggling a bit after my surgery so I'm not going to take the kitchen sink with me. Thanks all.

I'm with Anthony78 on the use of the slammo. I think it helps with my concience when you've taken out a deep hooked perch with a slammo and after five hours in a keepnet they still look OK What happens after, who can tell? The use of a normal disgorger often results in certain death.

Peter I'd have thought another hero of yours would be Dennis Pye. I always remember as a kid, he always seemed to be staring at you on the front page of AT with another giant pike from your turf. Did you ever meet him?

I was putting a patio down at home and while handling one of the ornate looking flags they have these days, almost took my finger end off. Well, you just can't put a plaster on yourself can you? I looked high and low for my next door neighbour, nowhere to be seen, and I've got to go to work in 20 minutes. Into the tackle box for the superglue. Fixed. I found out the day after, that superglue was formulated in the Vietnam war for such hasty repair jobs while soldiers were out on search and destroy missions, when they were out in the field for long periods.

After my lengthy break from fishing due to illness, today was the day when I was going to 'sort my gear out'. I've been in the spare bedroom sorting out/throwing out all afternoon, and things just don't seem any different. I have got scores and scores of different feeders and I don't like feeder fishing! I buy them, get them home, and improve them! Same with floats. I've got pole floats I've ruined by taking the bristle out and putting my own in, then to find, I wished I'd I've left it as it was. Pole winders. I've got pole winders by the dozen rigged up. Not a clue what they are rigged up for, with a few exceptions. Not now, I've just trashed the lot. Floppy discs. I keep a fishing diary on floppies. I also keep specialist info ie. Pellet fishing, meat fishing, paste fishing etc, things I don't do much of but can just scan the floppy and make a couple of rigs up. Where is it? Can't find it! Dozens and dozens of articles written by specialists in that kind of fishing and it's missing. One big favour I did myself and I keep up with, is when I buy any line, I write the date I bought it on the spool. I am frequently astounded how long it sometimes is when I check out the dates. I've been slicing line up all afternoon with the scissors. Is there anyone else as organized as me out there?

I think the total sum of knots I use are; Grinner or Uni knot. double of the same. Spade end knot. Knotless knot. Four turn water knot. Slider knot. When fishing for carp or tench I tie eyed hooks on with a Uni or grinner then the line can't get drawn against where the eye has been turned over and break you. I gave up fishing with spade ends for those two species some time ago, reason being, the spade slicing through the line when under extreme pressure.

That, Chavender, was exactly the type of article I like to read. A bloke who's worked it out for himself. I've fished the Ouse and Derwent and can relate to what the blokes talking about exactly. If I'd a pound for every book or article I've read where the writer purports to know what he's talking about and clearly hasn't much idea, I'd be a few bob richer than I am now. I always remember reading a book about running by Seb Coe. I was training up for a marathon at the time and I digested what he had to say and tried to keep as near to his training programme as work and homelife would allow. Lo and behold! about eight years later, I see Seb Coe being interviewed on how did he cope on his first marathon he'd just run. I'm not suggesting he did not know what he's talking about. I am suggesting he was selling books, him and a lot more.

Ferret, if you check out CancerBACUP Types of trials on google, it explains the different types Controlled trials/Placebo/Blind trials and Randomisation. My was the randomisation one. I told my control nurse that if they thought I was sticking needles in myself, I'd take the drugs home, tell them I'd done myself, and chuck them in the bin. I am a wimp!

I started off with Interferon injections. Admitted to hospital for the first of Interluken-2 as the side effects can cause real problems. I came through that ok. Weeks 2 and 3 I'd injections at home administered by the district nurse at 16-00 and 18-00. Week 4 the same as week 1 but I'd all my injections at home 09-00 and 18-00 that nearly crucified me. Week 5/6/7 and should have been 8 Mondays in hospital for an introveinous drip of 5FU and nursey injecting me at home at 18-30. All treatments Mondays/Wednesdays/Fridays every week. It wasn't very nice at all Ferret, but as they say, 'what can't be helped must be endured!' I endured it as best I could, and I was told half way through, that the course of treatment I've just had, is what they give you if it had spread. If I have further problems, I know what's coming!

Did you see that on reality TV on sky this week. A flight crew member on an aircraft carrier only got sucked into the engine and spat out of the other side when the pilot powered up for take off. I think he lived to tell the tale as well.

I can tell you who my favourite is from the future. Arnie, Terminator 2. I'd like to she John Wayne kick his ass. What did John Wayne say to the sheperd when 100,000 indians appeared on the horizon? Let's get the flock outa here!

I wish I could share your joy for cricket 'cos it does nothing at all for me. When the cricket season starts I brighten up a bit because I know we are getting nearer the FISHING season .

I have been out of the frame for a while, buying bait. What I do know, is that, every time there was a price increase, it was always at this time of the year. Same when you bought the weeklies. Free gifts = price increase the week after.