Oops""" Your most embarrassing moment!

[Davy Holt]

yup or the tin of blue smoke and tin of tartan paint.

 

One of my old bosses who has now sadly passed away once stopped a pedestrian and asked if they could give her "erections" to and address

[corydoras]

Last Tuesday night on the way back from London Waterloo to Southampton on the train I got chatting to this lady on the seat opposite. After 20 minutes or so of chit-chat I noticed that she had a bit of a tummy and I just assumed that she was 'with child'. When I asked her when baby was due she explained that she was not expecting a baby at all.

 

I could have curled up and died on the spot.

 

[ 23. September 2004, 02:06 PM: Message edited by: corydoras ]

[bluezulu]

[Chris the Fish]

A while ago i had eaten loads of dried apricots for my breakfast. not so wild you may add, unless you get terrible bum trumpets as a result.

 

these things are the spawn of satan himself. as loud as a french bugler, and as smelly as fat birds thong.

 

However, back to the story.

 

At about 10.30 the mushyness that is part digested apricots started to do its thing in my large intestine, so i needed to escape.

 

Off i duly went for my 'ciggerette break' to relieve the pressure, on arriving on the balcony i duly relieved myself of the anal pressure with the largest almighty bum fanfare you could imagine, and with childlike gring duly appreciated its aroma with a audible intake of nose.

 

Imagine my horror when i realised that the window which opens onto the balcony was open, and just inside the window sat the prettiest of clerks, giving me the dirtiest of looks.

 

oh the shame....

[Westie]

LMFAO.

 

My old man should write a book on embarrassing moments. He's a retired GP.

 

One of his patients, a very prim and proper middle aged lady, came to see him about a suspected hernia. So that my old man could diagnose properly, he asked her to lay on the examination table and asked her to tense herself. (This shows the extent of the hernia, I am reliably told).

 

Mrs Prim doesn't quite understand what the old fella means by "tensing herself" and asks what she needs to do.

 

Dear old Doc, who is squatting at her side, says "Do this". He tenses himself, goes slightly pink in the face and promptly blows off.

 

His description, not mine - "The trouble was, you see, that it was very loud. A bit like a thunderclap. But worse than that, it was a little unacceptable in the odour department."

 

Mrs Prim didn't speak to him for the rest of the consultation.

[Happy Dude]

hey corydoras, i wonder what my wife was doing on a southampton train...we live in scotland :confused:

[MickJ]

Remember sending a new starter to the Solicitors for a 'verbal agreement form' when I worked for a Building Society in the late sixties, never did get one.

[Newt]

I remember being sent for a couple of those items when I was a young fella and new at a job.

 

Left to get whatever one morning and returned to work the next morning to report I had spent the entire previous day trying but no luck. Never was sent after any other similar things after that. Managed to catch a couple of fish while I was out looking too.

[nursejudy]

Had one yesterday whilst attending to a male patient......

[northern mark]

A mate of mine was in hospital to be drained. He needed to be shaved so along came a new nurse to do the job, as she was working they got chatting and he started to rise to the occasion. The nurse just smiled and carried on. "Is there anything you can do about that?" he asked young nurse with a smile on his face.

"Yes" replied the sister and promply gave it a good hard tap with a spoon right on the end, soon put it back to sleep.

 

 

Mark