poledark

Don’t blame me I just pass them on I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn’t what they had in mind. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That’s when he realised he had made it home safely. Paddy says to Mick, “Christmas is on Friday this year”. Mick said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th then.” My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak. Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in. Came home one day early in December to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone’s Advent calendar…? I’ve been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit. After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing. A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, “Never mind son, maybe next year you’ll get a speaking part.” Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That’s rather a lot. Apparently Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier I think. Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, and when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes…. I think they were Just Hovis Witnesses. Den

Not stopped all day here, not heavy stuff though, but steadily building up Den

You're braver than me.... Den

Have a good one Newt Den

That link got me looking for the singer, and came up with a few more clips. Are'nt some people wonderful? Humans at their best My 50th this year, and I realise I love her more than ever. Den

Thats beautiful Elton...REALLY made me smile, Den Oh dear!!!!!!!!!! Den

Good stuff love the backing music by the way, Den

Try on WSF, Den

Thought some of you might like this... Stick with it ti the end Den

I suppose it may just be possible that further research/discoveries about DNA may show that some knowledge(memories) can be passed on? And in one or two cases that "memory" can be recalled? Den

Den

Click on the link re the hand transplant :) A grudging thanks to Andrew for the link, Den

Made a few, altered a few....still at it Den

Test Den

Hazel and I are on our own Xmas day :) Since I met and started to fish with a top class chef, Haxwl has got into sauces in a big way. So, on xmas day we are sharing a large slice of Fillet steak, and a sauce which will contain red wine and green peppers and a lot of other stuff, about which I have no knowledge (each to their own) It will of course be a superb meal as usual Den

Seems like you "got it sussed" Newt a good woman....some good fishing........good weather/location................. Live long my friend, and enjoy it, Den

Hey there old fella I didn't think it would take you long to get hitched again :clap: :clap2: Have a good one , and I hope shines for you both, Den

Poll tax would have been the fairest way to get people to pay for their council services. My house is bigger than others in the road but we all have the same services, so why should I pay more than the others? I think you should pay "per person" so those with kids pay more than those without Den

Those nasty Yanks have a lot to answer for......we could be governed by Germans............or.........failing that, the Russian communists...aided by their friends the N koreans and Chinese. Of course they might have all fallen out with each other and started chucking nuclear missiles at each other. As an alternative we might well all be reading the Koran and facing Mecca each morning. Yep, a lot to answer for.................... Den

I found it all a bit dispiriting. I am not a political person, but am concerned about the way we are policed, and so I made a little effort to find out a few things about my local candidates. There was some news coverage on TV over several evenings, I went on the net and registered to receive info (not hard to do) and also got some leaflets thro the door. After making a decision I went and voted. Glad to say my choice won :clap2: Didn't cost me a cent, and may have been a very important decision. Thank goodness SOME of us take an interest in something other than strictly or i'm a celeb. So if she gets it wrong, then blame me I also don't see how the cost can be linked to "votor" apathy, most of the abstainers are to damned lazy to even think for themselves, let alone go to vote....won't stop them moaning though. Den

Been following all this with interest Elton..........just love the door opening clip a bit like the VW advert Den

You may get a pleasant surprise John. My two eldest sons (both 40+) are mad keen on wargaming anf painting armies, they must have thousands of the things. One of them is having a clearout and has just sold one lot for over a £1000 on ebay. Den

I think beach anglers must use an awful lot of Stonz...the beaches are covered with pebbles with holes in.............discards maybe? Den

Now that has got to be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me on AN Den

Came home this afternoon having done a few hours on the beach, and I was presented with a copy of The Compleat Angler "Er indoors" must have been checking on my computer usage ...........not that I have anything to hide Thanks a bunch Hazel, Den