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  1. Winding down - angling as one gets older and frailer. Having caught shark, marlin, and sturgeon over 300 lb, and several hundred species from places as diverse as the Amazon Basin, the Australian outback, the Southern Ocean, the Caribbean coral flats and the streams of the American Divide. It is with some disbelief that I find age, muscle weakness and increasingly severe angina drastically limiting where I can fish. I have always loved catching wild fish in wild places, which has had me fishing in all seven oceans, and six of the seven continents. (went to the seventh – Antarcti
    6 points
  2. Extract from Tony Blair's book! 'I had regularly started jogging out of Downing Street . On each run I happened to jog past a hooker (prostitute) standing on the same street corner, day after day. With some apprehension I would brace myself as I approached her for what was most certainly to follow. "Fifty Pounds!" she would shout from the kerb. "No way, 50 pence!" I fired back. This ritual between myself and the hooker continued for days. I'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty Pounds!" And I'd yell back "50 pence!" One day, however, my wife Cherie decide
    5 points
  3. I was naked when I met the postman at the front door this morning. I don't know what surprised him most, that I was naked, or that I knew where he lived. I've been told that a good way of letting go of your anger towards other people is to write letters to those you hate and then burn them. I've done that, but do I have to keep the letters? After finding 5 Mars, 3 Snickers, a Galaxy and a Twix in this Celebrations box, I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be a Bounty hunter. Boss: "This is the third time you have been late for work this week. You know what this means, don't
    5 points
  4. Well, I'm glad nobody has written my obituary! Thanks for all the kind remarks - especially about the book. I reconnected yesterday - see Tiggers thread 're a few hours out. Still fishing in my 87th year, albeit just small still waters due to ever increasing angina problems.
    5 points
  5. Trumpy at Andrews giving his last speech as President, how many people would have predicted that five years ago. He still seems to be casting doubt on the legitimacy of the election despite so many people, not just in his own Country but others including the U.K. telling him to accept the Democratic vote and move on. Only in the USA some say, thank goodness would never happen here. Can anybody imagine having a democratic vote in this Country and a huge chunk of the minority not accepting the result and continuing to contest it and argue about it four years later?
    4 points
  6. An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter to the family. Dear Mum & Dad, I am well, hope youse are too? Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin’!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not
    4 points
  7. Except in a river or stream Regarding the information about the wind i have come to realise Millenials dont have a sense of consequence, you see them on youtube falling foul of obvious pitfalls any 'normal' adult will predict so everything has to be explained and most likely every time it's published because when you live on a phone there is no need to remember anything, its a wonder some remember to breathe !
    4 points
  8. All, One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your pen!s reach your a$shole?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.” The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?” His grandpa replied, “Can your pen!s reach your a$shole?” “No” said Little Johhny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied. The
    4 points
  9. 16/08 a couple of weeks ago obliterating my PB caught 3 Chub. And this one on the same boilie lol
    4 points
  10. all, When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. * * * * * * * * * * * * To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it. * * * * * * * * * * * * Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight. * * * * * * * * * * * * When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago. * * * * * * * * * * * * I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. * * * * * * * * * * * * I had my patience tested. I'm negative. *
    4 points
  11. Well folks, we arrived at the venue - Kippax Park Lakes about 8:15 Wed' Morning for my first session since last September & Trevor's first a couple of years!! Not the best of starts, as when untangling the 3 made up rods I took, hadn't noticed I'd knocked the landing net (Handle & all) into the swim so had to borrow one from the office at least until a lovely old fella, Lawrence came round later & dragged mine out with a grappling hook - He's part of the furniture there & has never failed (he says) to get "Gone In" pole sections etc. Incidentally he always brings with him the o
    4 points
  12. Although I'd planned a few days previous my health kept me in doors. I was told of a pond, definitely not a carp puddle, localish and reasonably accessible. Despite an 80% forecast of rain I thought why not. It was my daughters fellas only day off this week so yesterday or nothing. Arriving at 0700, I couldn't manage any earlier despite my excitement, retirement has got to me and to get there at 0700 I had to be up at 0500. Early enough. One person fishing, 1st peg out of the car park, ha ha. No longer steady on my feet I don't walk round anymore. Five minutes with the binos an
    4 points
  13. I thoroughly love using a centrepin for trotting on the small streams and rivers that I fish, but not in all swims; some of the swims are too full of streamer weed and cabbages to allow me to trot very far. Plus the smaller streams that I fish have a lot of bends and overhanging branches which can make trotting a float a very precarious pastime in some cases. But the centrepin when in the hands of someone who really enjoys using it and who knows how to get the best out of using one is a tool that a lot of people just ignore; to their detriment in my view; however everyone is different and
    4 points
  14. I’ve just been to the chemist to get Mother’s prescription, I spoke to the pharmacist Alan asking if he sold hypodermic syringes, when he asked why I says, “I’m going to inject bleach to see if it works, not on myself of course but I have a list of people to try it out on!” He smiled (a rare occurrence) and says “Can I add some names to the list!”
    4 points
  15. NOTICE If you are here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
    3 points
  16. Here's a useful guide to help you out.
    3 points
  17. John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize
    3 points
  18. An end to the flat Earth argument.
    3 points
  19. All, Up for my first jab 900 am Sunday. Phone
    3 points
  20. A farmer goes to a livestock dealer and buys an anvil, a bucket, two chickens, and a goose. The farmer looks at his purchases and says, “Damn, I WALKED here. How am I gonna carry all this home? The livestock dealer said, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?” “Hey, thanks!” the farmer said, and off he went. While walking home he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to Mockingbird Lane?” The farmer said, “Well, as a matter of
    3 points
  21. Good program on BBC2 today Chesters, ‘Cornwall, this fishing life,’ I’ve been watching this series along with the earlier one for sometime because it is an academic documentary on small fishing communities over time over seen by The Open University. From the previous year I have formed my own opinion that it is without political bias. Tonight’s episode centred around Newquay as the restrictions placed on the town and fishing fleet by BREXIT start to take a toll. Several of the boats, they are huge great boats, some I would estimate perhaps 6 to 8 metres long and are often so large th
    3 points
  22. Caught plenty from the Thames using small sections of Sardine ,Mackeral but esp Lamprey sections Helps if you prevail with fish chunks for a while first i had a monster on bread today jyst over 8 plus a 6/05 yesterday will see if I can get a video to load on the few hours out today
    3 points
  23. You've spent the last five years telling us there are heaps of fish to be caught. Make up your mind.
    3 points
  24. Amazon bloody answers! On ebay you can ask the seller a question about their wares directly (and hold them to it should they lie) On Amazon it really pisses me off idiots answer for the sake of it! IE how long is the longest spanner in set x Answer 10cm (good answer) Answer 100mm (good answer) Answer 3 15/16ths (good answer but 4" ok) Answer about 3" (wrong answer) Answer i dont know i dont own one (pointless answer ) Answer i sent mine back and bought xxxxx (areshole) Whats wrong with people if you dont ****ing know why answer ! ****ing b
    3 points
  25. @Phone, your spelling needs a bit of work... “Outgoing President Trump In A Nutshell” should be... "Outgoing President Trump Is A Nutcase”
    3 points
  26. The SBS should have shot them on sight.
    3 points
  27. I actually bought AT today, AM had sold out, miserly thin offering for £2.30, tempted by 'roach' on the front cover, well over a year since I last bought AT. I really don't know why I bothered. This afternoon I also picked up a hardly read copy of John Watson's A Pikers Progress for a mere fiver, now that is value, especially when compared with AT! Was a time that a daily visit to WH Smith was a must, now it's the book shelves in my local charity shops!
    3 points
  28. I've met him ! A minor club official with delusions of grandeur. Didn't have any I.D. on him but demanded to see my club card and licence. I told him to go climb a tree. Re the salties... The only other occasion where wildlife stopped me fishing was on the Oykel Fly fishing for Salmon , wading a rapid, above a deep pool, and was attacked by midges. I was not being bitten much, but two eyes full of midges meant I couldn.t see - in a fast current in midstream. Chucking handfuls of river water into my eyes was all I could do and the midges came back as soon as I stopped the i
    3 points
  29. Show off! I had a close call with a toad once
    3 points
  30. Watercraft has many guises Keith
    3 points
  31. Yorkshire Proof Readers Society Fighting the war on t'error.
    3 points
  32. Thinking more Eggshell Emulsion to cut out the glare!! - Oooh, You are a Wag Dave. Beautiful reel Ian. It's great to be an owner of nice things!!
    3 points
  33. I'm not trying to teach my granny to suck eggs here, but....Chesters, your wrong bud. If fishing a parrot cage swims as you describe, you simply cast straight out (rod pointing forward, or at any angle) and wally your float/ lead, whatever out. You don't have to cast from the side, or from the back to wally cast. Infact, casting with a centrepin is easier and more accurate up to around 30 or so yards out than of using a fixed spool reel. Alan showed me how to perform the cast needed for a constricted swim also. Just for reference, I very often fish in seriously overgrown swims
    3 points
  34. Last year, I had a good double figure barbel (no scales with me but it was closer to 15lb than 12) from the Avon at Fladbury and that was taken (on a feeder this time) right down the side. I was fishing with my dad (who has never landed a barbel over 8lb in 50 years of fishing) and he has had a few things to say about crude tactics and braid hook-links before now but I pointed out that there's nothing "sporting" about leaving hooks in fish and showed him the two additional hooks that I had removed from the fish's mouth. Earlier that day, after three hours without a tap, I'd spotted w
    3 points
  35. My sons the same with his car hes always trying to pin down a noise and replacing bits that do not resolve it ,he gets rather annoyed when i tell him to turn up the stereo until it goes away!
    3 points
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