HAVE A LAUGH

[Newt]

Nice snipe. :D

[greg long]

Nice snipe. :D

 

Newt, quick if you delete his post you can get it...

[Bobj]

A REDNECK LOVE POEM

 

SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,

SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.

SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL,

SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.

 

PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL,

YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.

I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW,

BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER.

 

SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE

AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL.

BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS,

HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL.'

 

YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL,

AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YO' MOTHER.

BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO'

I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER.

 

BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD,

JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO' HAPPY.

MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE;

YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.

(Kinda brings a tear to yer eye, don't it?)

[Newt]

Two good old boys were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer down in West Virginia tavern.

 

After a while the first guy says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

 

The second guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it sure would make us even.

[greg long]

They say a Womans work is never done............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.............maybe that's why they get paid less

[barry luxton]

They say a Womans work is never done............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.............maybe that's why they get paid less

 

perhaps they are on job and knock.

[Emma two]

Rare photograph 1940 'Tour de France'

 

 

[Bobj]

Quite punny

 

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was -- -- Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island -- -- but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 

3. She was only a whisky maker -- -- but he loved her still.

 

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class -- -- because it was a weapon of math disruption.

 

5.. The butcher backed into the meat grinder -- -- and got a little behind in his work.

 

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, -- -- it'll still be stationery.

 

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road -- -- and was cited for littering.

 

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France -- -- would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

9. Two silk worms had a race -- -- they ended up in a tie.

 

10. Time flies like an arrow -- -- fruit flies like a banana.

 

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall -- -- the police are looking into it.

 

12. Atheism --- is a non-prophet organization.

 

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway -- -- One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

 

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger -- -- then, it hit me

 

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said -- -- ‘Keep off the Grass..'

 

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital -- -- his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

 

17. A chicken crossing the road -- -- is poultry in motion.

 

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison -- -- was a small medium at large.

 

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray -- -- is now a seasoned veteran.

 

20. A backward poet -- -- writes inreverse.

 

21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. -- -- in feudalism, it's your count that votes.

 

22. When cannibals ate a missionary -- -- they got a taste of religion.

 

23. Don't join dangerous cults -- -- practice safe sects!

[barry luxton]

Very good

[Newt]

LOL - most excellent Bobj.