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  1. Winding down - angling as one gets older and frailer. Having caught shark, marlin, and sturgeon over 300 lb, and several hundred species from places as diverse as the Amazon Basin, the Australian outback, the Southern Ocean, the Caribbean coral flats and the streams of the American Divide. It is with some disbelief that I find age, muscle weakness and increasingly severe angina drastically limiting where I can fish. I have always loved catching wild fish in wild places, which has had me fishing in all seven oceans, and six of the seven continents. (went to the seventh – Antarcti
    6 points
  2. Extract from Tony Blair's book! 'I had regularly started jogging out of Downing Street . On each run I happened to jog past a hooker (prostitute) standing on the same street corner, day after day. With some apprehension I would brace myself as I approached her for what was most certainly to follow. "Fifty Pounds!" she would shout from the kerb. "No way, 50 pence!" I fired back. This ritual between myself and the hooker continued for days. I'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty Pounds!" And I'd yell back "50 pence!" One day, however, my wife Cherie decide
    5 points
  3. I was naked when I met the postman at the front door this morning. I don't know what surprised him most, that I was naked, or that I knew where he lived. I've been told that a good way of letting go of your anger towards other people is to write letters to those you hate and then burn them. I've done that, but do I have to keep the letters? After finding 5 Mars, 3 Snickers, a Galaxy and a Twix in this Celebrations box, I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be a Bounty hunter. Boss: "This is the third time you have been late for work this week. You know what this means, don't
    5 points
  4. Well, I'm glad nobody has written my obituary! Thanks for all the kind remarks - especially about the book. I reconnected yesterday - see Tiggers thread 're a few hours out. Still fishing in my 87th year, albeit just small still waters due to ever increasing angina problems.
    5 points
  5. The Prime Minister has announced that due to the Indian covid variant people will be offered the Pun jab. People must take the Indian variant seriously. My neighbour caught it and has been in a korma for a week and he'd only just buried his naan.
    4 points
  6. That took me a while.
    4 points
  7. Better was on a State visit to Oz PP was informed he would have to answer the same questions at border control everyone else does, PP was quite happy to oblige. When the Border Official asked “Have you any criminal convictions?” He replied “Sorry I don’t, I didn’t realise you still needed them to come here!”
    4 points
  8. Trumpy at Andrews giving his last speech as President, how many people would have predicted that five years ago. He still seems to be casting doubt on the legitimacy of the election despite so many people, not just in his own Country but others including the U.K. telling him to accept the Democratic vote and move on. Only in the USA some say, thank goodness would never happen here. Can anybody imagine having a democratic vote in this Country and a huge chunk of the minority not accepting the result and continuing to contest it and argue about it four years later?
    4 points
  9. An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter to the family. Dear Mum & Dad, I am well, hope youse are too? Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin’!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not
    4 points
  10. Except in a river or stream Regarding the information about the wind i have come to realise Millenials dont have a sense of consequence, you see them on youtube falling foul of obvious pitfalls any 'normal' adult will predict so everything has to be explained and most likely every time it's published because when you live on a phone there is no need to remember anything, its a wonder some remember to breathe !
    4 points
  11. All, One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your pen!s reach your a$shole?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.” The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?” His grandpa replied, “Can your pen!s reach your a$shole?” “No” said Little Johhny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied. The
    4 points
  12. 16/08 a couple of weeks ago obliterating my PB caught 3 Chub. And this one on the same boilie lol
    4 points
  13. all, When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. * * * * * * * * * * * * To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it. * * * * * * * * * * * * Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight. * * * * * * * * * * * * When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago. * * * * * * * * * * * * I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. * * * * * * * * * * * * I had my patience tested. I'm negative. *
    4 points
  14. Well folks, we arrived at the venue - Kippax Park Lakes about 8:15 Wed' Morning for my first session since last September & Trevor's first a couple of years!! Not the best of starts, as when untangling the 3 made up rods I took, hadn't noticed I'd knocked the landing net (Handle & all) into the swim so had to borrow one from the office at least until a lovely old fella, Lawrence came round later & dragged mine out with a grappling hook - He's part of the furniture there & has never failed (he says) to get "Gone In" pole sections etc. Incidentally he always brings with him the o
    4 points
  15. Although I'd planned a few days previous my health kept me in doors. I was told of a pond, definitely not a carp puddle, localish and reasonably accessible. Despite an 80% forecast of rain I thought why not. It was my daughters fellas only day off this week so yesterday or nothing. Arriving at 0700, I couldn't manage any earlier despite my excitement, retirement has got to me and to get there at 0700 I had to be up at 0500. Early enough. One person fishing, 1st peg out of the car park, ha ha. No longer steady on my feet I don't walk round anymore. Five minutes with the binos an
    4 points
  16. As has been said, everything was bigger in the good old days ! My good old days were in the 1940s - Britain at war and the countryside almost unchanged since mediaeval times. I invented/discovered fishing for myself - as far as my family went I was First Angler Homemade rod, reel, and real linen thread line, all tackle home-made (read "Angling Vagabond" for details) Two things I knew nothing about were split shot and maggots. The absence of split shot was weird - if your float cocked - you had a bite ! Bait was worm or flour paste. It was not until my aunt married an a
    3 points
  17. Biggest of 6 chub from a Kennet weirpool this morning.
    3 points
  18. A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," Where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Key." Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key and the effects were wonderful --The woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everyt
    3 points
  19. ALL, Of course, I’m right I’m Phone and I’m back. Although there should have never been a doubt. There have been a few of the boring snags; for your perusal. · How does such a event begin ? Simple, · “ Dr. Vamanan has reviewed your medical records and performed a thorough physical exam. · You endorse recovering well after surgery. · Your CT showed a lymph node that might have increased in size right beside your aorta. We're going to send these results to your Primary Care Physician and arrange a referral with HemOnc.
    3 points
  20. Here's a useful guide to help you out.
    3 points
  21. All, Up for my first jab 900 am Sunday. Phone
    3 points
  22. A farmer goes to a livestock dealer and buys an anvil, a bucket, two chickens, and a goose. The farmer looks at his purchases and says, “Damn, I WALKED here. How am I gonna carry all this home? The livestock dealer said, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?” “Hey, thanks!” the farmer said, and off he went. While walking home he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to Mockingbird Lane?” The farmer said, “Well, as a matter of
    3 points
  23. It's my wife's birthday soon and she's been leaving jewellery catalogues all over the house. So I've bought her a magazine rack. My mate's Mrs. left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for a pint of milk and never came back! I asked him how he was coping and he said, "Not too bad, I've been using that powdered stuff." The wife said if you're bored why don’t you make a bird table? Now she’s kicking off because I put her in fifth place.
    3 points
  24. this is the view you get of victoria bridge when fishing the severn on the birmingham anglers stretch at arley. great day out on the severn valley railway
    3 points
  25. Caught plenty from the Thames using small sections of Sardine ,Mackeral but esp Lamprey sections Helps if you prevail with fish chunks for a while first i had a monster on bread today jyst over 8 plus a 6/05 yesterday will see if I can get a video to load on the few hours out today
    3 points
  26. Don’t bite Tigger, this childish pleb has ‘Winding people up on forums’ on his list of interests (what a really sad git he must be ). Just ignore this fool and he might just float away on his bubble and go somewhere else NB: Do we have an ‘ignore’ function on this forum?
    3 points
  27. Pffft! Not for me. "The Horse"
    3 points
  28. I actually bought AT today, AM had sold out, miserly thin offering for £2.30, tempted by 'roach' on the front cover, well over a year since I last bought AT. I really don't know why I bothered. This afternoon I also picked up a hardly read copy of John Watson's A Pikers Progress for a mere fiver, now that is value, especially when compared with AT! Was a time that a daily visit to WH Smith was a must, now it's the book shelves in my local charity shops!
    3 points
  29. Chris, Steve - I have a draft for another book, following on from A.V. My indoor hobby, now that tackle making and fly-tying are beyond my tremor-racked hands, is postal history, especially rail-related postal history ("The Night Mail crossing the border " etc ) - it does not leave much time for book production - since retiring I have often wondered how I ever found time to go to work !
    3 points
  30. I would have preffered if she asked if i wanted some Bush
    3 points
  31. strangest thing? Returning from Chicago this morning the hostess ask me if "I wanted some headphones"? - I said yes OF COURSE- - but how did you know my name was PHONE pHONE
    3 points
  32. Reading it, it does appear your summing up is correct. The U.K. will continue to contribute towards the Defence of the EU with monies and troops. Under Article 6 (“the Union and the United Kingdom shall use their best endeavours to conclude and ratify such an agreement before 1 July 2020.”), best endeavours means jack shite in Law, so what it means is, if the EU refuse to budge on their demand for full access to U.K. Territorial Waters then they will continue to have full access. The deadline has passed, THIS is in breach of International Law under the jurisdiction of The UN. Th
    3 points
  33. I was a rocker with a bike, not an incel on a scooter
    3 points
  34. Thinking more Eggshell Emulsion to cut out the glare!! - Oooh, You are a Wag Dave. Beautiful reel Ian. It's great to be an owner of nice things!!
    3 points
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