HAVE A LAUGH

[Huge_Vitae]

What was the other much quoted sentence.....

 

"The Batsman is Holding the Bowler's Willie"

 

Or something like that................

[Bobj]

What was the other much quoted sentence.....

 

"The Batsman is Holding the Bowler's Willie"

 

Or something like that................

Ahh, yes. A commentator called out " And there it is, Lillee, caught Dilly, bowled Willie....I always wanted to say that"

[Bobj]

We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons'

 

Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'

 

 

(_!_) a regular ass

 

 

(__!__) a fat ass

 

 

(!) a tight ass

 

 

(_*_) a sore ass

 

 

(_o_) an ass that's been around

 

(_x_) kiss my ass

 

 

(_X_) leave my ass alone

 

 

(_zzz_) a tired ass

 

 

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

 

 

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

 

 

(_?_) Dumb Ass

[steve duffy]

What was the other much quoted sentence.....

 

"The Batsman is Holding the Bowler's Willie"

 

Or something like that................

 

The batmans Holding,the bowlers Willey.

[poledark]

Bob, they are brilliant I shall make a list....

 

Den

[Bobj]

The Old Golfer.

 

The golfer's eyesight has deteriorated so badly that he resolves to give up golf and tells his brother-in-law, Dan.

 

His loving wife suggests that he give it another try with her brother.

 

"He's in his eighties," said Dan. "He's past playing golf."

 

"True, but his eyesight is perfect."

 

Next day Dan heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, gives the ball a mighty hit and loses sight of it.

 

"Did you see that?" he asks.

 

"Of course I did, my eyesight is perfect!"

 

"Where did it go, then?" asks Dan.

 

"I don't remember."

[hembo]

Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample."

The old man says, "What?" So the doctor says it again.

Once again the old man says, "what?"

So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!"

With that the old woman turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!"

[hembo]

Speaking of perverts, I found the story of a perverted pedicurist who would break into people's homes and trim their nails while they were sleeping. Probably a clip toe maniac.

Edited August 31, 2008 by hembo

[Newt]

A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only three survivors; Bob, Tom and Debbie.

 

They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.

 

After several years of casual sex, all the time, Debbie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.

 

She felt having sex with both Bob and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.

 

It was tragic, but Bob and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Bob and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.

 

Well, a couple more years went by and Bob and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.

.

.

.

.

.

.

So they buried Debbie.

[MrWiggly]

That's bad Newt .. That's really bad !!