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Spare a minute

:)

Free to choose apart from the ones where the trust poked their nose in. Common eel. tope. Bass and sea bream. All restricted.


New for 2016 TAT are the main instigators for the demise of the u k bass charter boat industry, where they went screaming off to parliament and for the first time assisting so called angling gurus set up bass take bans with the e u using rubbish exaggerated info collected by ices from anglers, they must be very proud.

Upgrade, the door has been closed with regards to anglers being linked to the e u superstate and the failed c f p. So TAT will no longer need to pay monies to the EAA anymore as that org is no longer relevant to the u k . Goodbye to the europeon anglers alliance and pathetic restrictions from the e u.

Angling is better than politics, ban politics from angling.

Consumer of bass. where is the evidence that the u k bass stock need angling trust protection. Why won't you work with your peers instead of castigating them. They have the answer.

Recipie's for mullet stew more than welcomed.

Angling sanitation trust and kent and sussex sea anglers org delete's and blocks rsa's alternative opinion on their face book site. Although they claim to rep all.

new for 2014. where is the evidence that the south coast bream stock need the angling trust? Your campaign has no evidence. Why won't you work with your peers, the inshore under tens? As opposed to alienating them? Angling trust failed big time re bait digging, even fish legal attempted to intervene and failed, all for what, nothing.

Looks like the sea angling reps have been coerced by the ifca's to compose sea angling strategy's that the ifca's at some stage will look at drafting into legislation to manage the rsa, because they like wasting tax payers money. That's without asking the rsa btw. You know who you are..

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I ordered a Chinese meal last night. Chinese driver came to our door and I walked out to meet him. He started shouting "isolate" "isolate" I said you’re not that late, I only ordered 25 minutes ago!

Alex Salmond's colleagues decided it would be a worthy gesture to name a railway locomotive after him. So an official went to the National Railway Museum at York, to investigate the possibilities. "T

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Charlton Heston at the Pearly Gates meets St Peter and says “I’m Charlton Heston, a famous actor; much too important to die yet, what can I do to go back down to earth and live on for a lot more years” St Peter scratches his head and after a while says, Well, you could make love to the ugliest woman in heaven, but I warn you, she is so ugly that she could turn a Gorgon to stone”Heston hesitates for a moment, then says “OK, I’ll do it, where is she”St Peter directs him to a distant cloud where the woman can be found, and Heston then goes there and does the business.On his way back to St Peter, Heston passes another cloud where he can see Elton/Newt/Ant/HugeV or whoever making love to Marilyn Monroe.Heston says to St Peter, “how comes I had to make love to that really ugly woman when there’s Monk/Ed/Joey or whoever over there making love to Marilyn Monroe to which St Peter replies……………WELL SHE WANTS TO GO BACK TO EARTH AS WELL.

 

***********************

 

Two aged explorers were sitting in a train reminiscing over old times, when a novice nun enters the carriage. The first explorer says"well Curuthers, I think it's spelt whooooom". The second explorer says"No,No, Carstairs it's definitely spelt whoooooombbb".The young nun looks a bit embarrassed for herself and starts to go red. She exclaims"I am really sorry gentlemen, but I think the word that your referring to is spelt; womb"Carstairs turns to Curuthers and says"Do you know Curuthers, I don't think the young lady has ever heard an elephant fart".

Edited by Slack lines

Making the most of it

 

Chi dorme non piglia pesci

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Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Listen up, Buddy. I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean . . it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I love it."

 

 

Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, "'No kidding. I'm a lawyer, too.

What firm are you with?"

Making the most of it

 

Chi dorme non piglia pesci

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'An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.

 

With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.

 

Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away.

So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.

 

The farmer simply replied, 'They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want.'

 

The man dated the first daughter.

The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.

 

'Well,' said the man, 'she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed.'

 

The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.

 

The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.

 

'Well,'the man replied, 'she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed.'

 

The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

 

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming,

 

'She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry'

 

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born.

When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

 

'Well,' explained the farmer,

'She was just a weeeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell...

pregnant when you met her.'

Making the most of it

 

Chi dorme non piglia pesci

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Two mates were having a drink or two, while discussing their wives.

 

"Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" .

 

"Well ... not exactly." his friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."

 

"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"

 

"Well ... not exactly ... I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead."

Making the most of it

 

Chi dorme non piglia pesci

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Charlton Heston at the Pearly Gates meets St Peter and says “I’m Charlton Heston, a famous actor; much too important to die yet, what can I do to go back down to earth and live on for a lot more years” St Peter scratches his head and after a while says, Well, you could make love to the ugliest woman in heaven, but I warn you, she is so ugly that she could turn a Gorgon to stone”Heston hesitates for a moment, then says “OK, I’ll do it, where is she”St Peter directs him to a distant cloud where the woman can be found, and Heston then goes there and does the business.On his way back to St Peter, Heston passes another cloud where he can see Elton/Newt/Ant/HugeV or whoever making love to Marilyn Monroe.Heston says to St Peter, “how comes I had to make love to that really ugly woman when there’s Monk/Ed/Joey or whoever over there making love to Marilyn Monroe to which St Peter replies……………WELL SHE WANTS TO GO BACK TO EARTH AS WELL.

Oh, I do so love to pick up a gauntlet. :rolleyes: .

 

A member of AN dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates.

 

On asking his background SLACK LINES tells him he is a fisherman and a member of Angler's Net.

 

"You will love it here!" exclaims St. Peter, "we have lakes, rivers and seas full of fish!" He hands Slack Lines a 'magic bag' which contains all the tackle and bait he will need and sends him on his way.

 

Slack Lines first visits a lake full of fisherpersons (wow, I've been PC :huh: ) but notices that all the swims are full except for two either side of a big bloke with HV printed on his coat.

 

He fishes for a while but every time he catches a specimen Rudd, the big bloke next to him catches a record, every time he catches a specimen carp, the big bloke next to him catches a record. And so it goes on.

 

In the end Slack Lines decides to go river fishing, he is a bit annoyed when the HV bloke sets up next to him, but more so when every time he lands a fish, be it a trout or a salmon 'HV' lands a bigger and better fish.

 

Again he moves on to the sea, from his 'magic bag' he sets up a superb beach caster and proceeds to fish. before long he lands a beautiful Bass.

 

Within seconds 'HV' comes along and casts out landing a Bass twice the size.

 

Having had enough, Slack Lines goes back to the Pearly Gates and asks St. Peter to send him to hell.

 

"Why would you want that?" asks St. Peter.

 

Slack Lines explains what has happened and says "I put up with him for so long on Angler's Net I can't go through eternity with him out-fishing me as well!"

 

"I see," replied St. Peter, "but you have got it all wrong, Huge Vitae is not here, he is still on angler's net, and will be for a long time, that was not Huge Vitae who fished against you, that was GOD, he just likes to think he is Huge Vitae." :P

Want to buy a berleybomb? email sales( remove brackets@)berleybomb.com

 

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

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A man and his wife was spending the day at the zoo.

 

She was wearing a loose fitting , pink dress, sleeveless straps, he was wearing his normal jeans and t-shirt.

 

As they walked past the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a huge silverback gorilla.

 

Noticing the wife it went crazy.

 

He jumped on the bars and holding on with one hand and feet and pounded his chest with his free hand.

 

The husband noticing the excitment, thought it was very funny.

 

He suggested to his wife to tease the gorilla by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along with his idea and the gorilla was even more excited, making more noise than to wake the dead.

 

Then the husband suggested she lowers one of her dress straps and show a little more skin. She did.... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars off the cage, 'show your thighs and wave your dress at him, ' he said.

 

To that the gorilla started to do countless back flips.

 

The husband grabbed hold of his wife, stuffed her into the cage, slammed the door shut and said to her..........

 

 

'Now tell the gorilla you have a headache.'

Edited by barry luxton

Free to choose apart from the ones where the trust poked their nose in. Common eel. tope. Bass and sea bream. All restricted.


New for 2016 TAT are the main instigators for the demise of the u k bass charter boat industry, where they went screaming off to parliament and for the first time assisting so called angling gurus set up bass take bans with the e u using rubbish exaggerated info collected by ices from anglers, they must be very proud.

Upgrade, the door has been closed with regards to anglers being linked to the e u superstate and the failed c f p. So TAT will no longer need to pay monies to the EAA anymore as that org is no longer relevant to the u k . Goodbye to the europeon anglers alliance and pathetic restrictions from the e u.

Angling is better than politics, ban politics from angling.

Consumer of bass. where is the evidence that the u k bass stock need angling trust protection. Why won't you work with your peers instead of castigating them. They have the answer.

Recipie's for mullet stew more than welcomed.

Angling sanitation trust and kent and sussex sea anglers org delete's and blocks rsa's alternative opinion on their face book site. Although they claim to rep all.

new for 2014. where is the evidence that the south coast bream stock need the angling trust? Your campaign has no evidence. Why won't you work with your peers, the inshore under tens? As opposed to alienating them? Angling trust failed big time re bait digging, even fish legal attempted to intervene and failed, all for what, nothing.

Looks like the sea angling reps have been coerced by the ifca's to compose sea angling strategy's that the ifca's at some stage will look at drafting into legislation to manage the rsa, because they like wasting tax payers money. That's without asking the rsa btw. You know who you are..

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Good ones, you blokes. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Think before you speak...Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow j *b?'I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes,I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.Without thinking, I looked at him and said ,'I think I like playing with men's balls.'

THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of lollies and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'My sister started to laugh hysterically.The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :While in line at the bank one afternoon,my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.I told her that if she did not start behaving right now she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,'If you don't let me go right now,I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me,were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,and she was clean.Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'. I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,and I don't have any clean clothes with me.'Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?''No,' he replied.I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.So, I asked one more time,'Danny, did you have an accident?'This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled 'SEE MUM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.An older couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!�

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow, but don't get any? We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were laughing

Edited by Bobj

ocker-anim.gifROO.gif

 

 

Cheers, Bobj.

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Very good :):):) i must do better B)

Free to choose apart from the ones where the trust poked their nose in. Common eel. tope. Bass and sea bream. All restricted.


New for 2016 TAT are the main instigators for the demise of the u k bass charter boat industry, where they went screaming off to parliament and for the first time assisting so called angling gurus set up bass take bans with the e u using rubbish exaggerated info collected by ices from anglers, they must be very proud.

Upgrade, the door has been closed with regards to anglers being linked to the e u superstate and the failed c f p. So TAT will no longer need to pay monies to the EAA anymore as that org is no longer relevant to the u k . Goodbye to the europeon anglers alliance and pathetic restrictions from the e u.

Angling is better than politics, ban politics from angling.

Consumer of bass. where is the evidence that the u k bass stock need angling trust protection. Why won't you work with your peers instead of castigating them. They have the answer.

Recipie's for mullet stew more than welcomed.

Angling sanitation trust and kent and sussex sea anglers org delete's and blocks rsa's alternative opinion on their face book site. Although they claim to rep all.

new for 2014. where is the evidence that the south coast bream stock need the angling trust? Your campaign has no evidence. Why won't you work with your peers, the inshore under tens? As opposed to alienating them? Angling trust failed big time re bait digging, even fish legal attempted to intervene and failed, all for what, nothing.

Looks like the sea angling reps have been coerced by the ifca's to compose sea angling strategy's that the ifca's at some stage will look at drafting into legislation to manage the rsa, because they like wasting tax payers money. That's without asking the rsa btw. You know who you are..

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An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst.

 

He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

 

He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand, and discovered that he had a Manischewitz wine bottle. It appeared that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrewed the top, and out popped a genie . BUT this was no ordinary genie.

 

This genie appeared to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, and tzitzies.

 

"Vell kid," said the genie, "you know how it voiks. You got three vishes."

 

"I'm not going to trust you,' says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!"

 

"Vott'ya you got to lose? Looks at me - you're a gonner anyvay!"

 

The Arab thought about this for a minute, and decided that the genie was right. "Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis, with plentiful food and drink."

 

** * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

 

The Arab found himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen and he was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

"Okee-dokee kiddo, vat's your second vish?"

"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."

 

** * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

 

The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare old coins and precious gems.

"Okay kid, you got just vone more vish. Better you should make it a good vone!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says, "I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will always need and want me!"

 

** * * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * *

 

He was turned into a tampon.

 

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you're an Arab doing business with a Jewish genie, there's surely going to be a string attached.

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